Week Eleven
Here is an Oasis (Japanese English written on a small watering can at my homestay)
Tuesday, Wednesday, September 23-24, 1997
Gajin for rent
Today I was rented out to a nice family of seven. They wanted me to spend the night so it was promised that I would by Takahashi. It was the first halfway decent day that I could remember in a long time and my entire family was going to start cutting their family rice fields. Basically what this means is that the men sit on the combine and drive it around the field while the women take these sickle-like cutters and crouch down by hand cutting and binding the rice that is in the corners that cannot be reached by the combine. Hard work. Of course I really wanted to photograph my Obachan cutting rice. But an obligation is best kept. What I did manage to do was slip away from the kindergarten field day long enough to photograph the Matsuda's (my homestay family) harvesting. The field is located right next to the shinkansen track and so I got a cool photo of Obachan in the rice with the shinkansen going by. Then I went back to field day. Not a lot of photos that I needed, but I took the opportunity to practice my sports photography using 4 and 5 year-olds as my subjects. Got some great face plants in the sand, I think.
In this family of seven was a grandmother who was 86 years old. No one liked her because she was kind of crotchety. I think she had been strict with the wife of the eldest son who also lives there. In fact, they all treat her a little like a dog including the grandchildren who are only 3 and 6. I was surprised when the grandson (28 years old) pointed to the wall and ordered her into the corner of the room. This space was obviously her corner, there was a floor cushion, a small kettle for hot water, a fly swatter, a small plastic garbage jar that you see in old houses, a few small boxes of sweets and some half eaten corn-on-the-cob.
The family told me that she was born in the Meiji era and those women are known to be very strict. Many young Japanese women will not marry an eldest son because they do not want to deal with the mother-in-law. In the words of this wife, if you get along with the mother-in-law then it is really good, but..... This is how Japanese people tell you that something is really bad, they end their sentences with a variety of forms for the word “but” indicating the severity of the situation.
This grandmother did not like me at all, and remembered me from my visits to Kawabe So, the nursing home. She had refused pictures. I had forgotten her face but when she started talking about Kawabe So I remembered her dislike for my total being. She talked in this broken voice about me and the act of taking photographs. All of which I did not understand. But what I did understand was NO PICTURES. NO PROBLEM, I said to her in my polite Japanese. What I really saw was a lonely old woman at the end of her life living among people who bestowed little warmth, respect, or affection towards her. I felt sad for her as she lay in her corner. No one talked to her, and I thought I heard her say that she hadn't eaten lunch yet (it was 3:00 p.m.) because she couldn't fix it herself and everyone left the house without thinking to leave her some food.
I only saw her eyes light up twice. Once when I asked her about Kawabe So mentioning that she must have a lot of friends there. The second time was after dinner around 9:00 p.m. I had finished eating and left the warmth of the kitchen to wander down the hall to the bathroom. As in most Japanese houses, the grandmother's room is built right next to the bathroom. I noticed her light was on and so I knocked on the door and opened it. She was sitting on the floor and next to her was an old box of yellowing cardboard. There was a neatly tied piece of twine folded on the floor and in her hands were photographs and postcards of memories from years ago. I opened the door and said "oyasuminasai" which basically means goodnight. She looked up from her memories and there was a soft look in her eyes as she shyly said “Oyasuminasai.” I think I was the first person who has wished her a goodnight in a long time.
The next morning as she was preparing the offerings to the budsudan, the altar that is erected for the deceased ancestors, I asked her if I could photograph her doing this. I was shocked when she said OK. I told her in America we did not have this type of thing. She was amazed and asked me to explain what we did when someone died. Later as she was placing the rice on the altar and lighting the incense, she said that no one in the house does this but her and that they all laugh at her for keeping the tradition. She then suggested that I go with her to Kawabe So when they come to pick her up. I told her I was going but that I would meet her later. The sad thing is that this kind of treatment toward these older people living in the same house is not uncommon. In fact it is very common. Unfortunately, the older parents, usually the grandmother, has probably been strict with the new wife and so as she gets older the young woman has a distaste for her.
The real problem is that the children see this behavior and mimic it. Japanese parents now are in for a real surprise when their kids get older, I think.
At no time in Japan are the generations farther apart then now. Women born in the Meiji era are still living under the same roof as those who danced to Elvis and the Beatles, and those who are skilled at Nintendo. Such drastically different lifestyles are an entire photo essay that I cannot hope to cover this trip. The truth is that in another 10 years the Japan that I really like is going to be gone, the older people whose life style speaks of a simpler time when Japan was more like Thailand or another Asian developing country are going to be dead and with them die a certain flavor that makes this country special to me.
I did see Tetsue (the 86 year-old grandmother) at Kawabe So. I spent the morning riding with the Day Service Center picking up people to bring them to KS. Guess who we picked up. Tetsue. She was back to her crotchety old self. Sometimes I am really glad that I cannot understand things. I have a sensitive skin and might be negatively affected. I think I got some nice photos of the two care workers helping a women get ready in her house. I am absolutely loving this. Each moment unfolds another page, another interesting situation. And even if there is nothing to photograph, I still learn something.
Kawabe So is getting bitter sweet. Smiling at faces and visiting with bedridden patients, it is getting to the point where I cannot say "ittekuru" which means I am going now, but will come again. There is one old man who looks very scary. He has a gnarled old stubbly face that shaped in a long oval. All day long he sits with a white hand towel stuffed in his mouth. His bed is next to the nurses station in a room with two other bedridden men who don't talk but will wave. One day I decided to go in and just say hi and tell him what I did that day. I was totally amazed when he took the towel out of his mouth and reached for my hand and said "doomo" which in this part of the country is a standard greeting and thanks. Now I visit him each time, giving him water, or food if he needs it. He also waves as I pass his room. Last week I brought in flowers picked from my home stay’s garden to give to the residents. He placed his neatly in a soda can beside his bed. It is still blooming.
People ask me when I am going to return to Kawabe, making references to next year. This is where I say that I want to return and then use a form of but indicating that it may never happen.
Never is too long a time to contemplate when talking with people who are seventy and eighty years old. My old trick when leaving places has always been to say that I will be back. Now these new friends want to know exactly when.
Today I wanted to photograph the doctor's visit and the day service center. In the morning I photographed the day service center. There were two cute little old ladies sitting in this tatami mat sipping tea and chatting. I started photographing and there was no reaction, so I continued. Then the care worker came in and they started bitching about me taking pictures. Boy, were they not happy, I was shocked that they had not said anything. I started to explain to them what I was doing and they were super chilly, so I said excuse me and left. I got a nice photo though I didn't mean to upset anyone.
The afternoon was filled with brilliant light as the doctor leaned over this sick man's bed and checked his IV. I still think the doctor is a bit of a quack. I took several photos of him smoking cigarettes in the nurses’ office. All he did for each of the residents was take their blood pressure. No kidding. Oh, and he prescribed some medicine for a woman who had a runny nose.
I think that this story about Kawabe So has also been a lesson in the use of light for me. The setting is fairly cluttered although interesting, I really have tried to make it more interesting with the light. The situations are fairly static; there is a lot of sitting around, and a lot of sleeping. The long days are punctuated with brief human interactions, brief moments of a prayer to an ancestor or a laugh with a friend. That is what I sought out amongst the mundanity of the lifestyle there.
Details
Details. Japan is a country whose story could be told in details. Posters hanging in the kitchen with nonsensical English, hello Kitty stickers on the gymnasium floor, blue caps neatly strapped to the small chairs at a kindergarten field day, tomatoes sitting on a wooden shoe dresser in the entry way next to the chestnuts, the doll carriage sitting next to the aged floor cushion, the toothbrushes and cups neatly lined up. The list is endless. Japan is a country full of still life images to me. I have photographed many of them, my eye keeps heading to these little piles of stuff discarded without a thought but seemingly thoughtfully arranged.
Thursday, September 25 - Kawabe, Japan
Today I woke up early and headed out to the little train station once again. There is a picture there somewhere and I am going to find it. I think I did this morning. This is significant because there are no high schools in the small towns all the kids must go to the cities, traveling upwards of about two hours by bicycle, bus and train. In addition, this photo also could point to the fact that farming cannot support a family any longer. The prices have gone down and farmers are being forced to find other sources of income, but I have already said all this.
In the morning at (8:00am) I went to check out my homestay brother's place of work. He works for the agricultural cooperative here in town. In this huge building there was little old women and young men working marking rice. Then they took me back to this huge room, and opened this stainless steel door. Inside was piled three years of unsold rice. Evidently the country didn't buy it and it is not selling. I think there must be huge amounts of rice stored all over Japan in these warehouses. The demands have gone down with the imports of other grains, as well as the imports of other rice like Californian, Australian and Thai.
It is harvest time in the country. Once a year, all over rural Japan family garages/barns are converted into small factories for producing rice. The farmers dust off their expensive machines and begin cutting their rice. They do not all share one or two machines that would be too easy and too inexpensive. They all buy their own combine, their own rice dryer and their own rice bagger. They use these machines once a year, and for the remainder of the year the machines collect dust next to their cars and bicycles. I go to bed to the sound of the days harvest in the dryer, and come home to see my homestay Otosan (father) drinking beer and eating beans while bagging his family's rice. The air is thick with smoke from the piles of burning rice husks or dust from the machine that is removing the dried husks.
Yatte minai to wakaranai
(Don't try doing, don't understand - Can't know until you try)
I am getting a cold. My throat is sore; my head aches. Shit. But I used this to my advantage to back out of a dinner with someone I didn't really know to go to dinner with a family of three generations that I know from taiko. My purpose was to photograph. The grandmother is one of the major caretakers of the grandson much in the traditional fashion. And they have a great relationship. They even sleep together. I photographed the grandmother, grandfather, son and daughter-in-law cutting rice during the day and they said I should come to dinner and spend the night. I ate sushi and drank sake. Then went to bed. The grandmother and grandson sleep together and they knew that I wanted to get photographs of this so they invited me to sleep with them. There I was at 2 in the morning lying there listening to the sound of the grandmother snore. I had gotten a few nice photographs of them at bedtime, but what I really wanted was shots of them with nice morning light asleep. I was totally nervous about shooting them asleep. What if I woke them up and they freaked out or something. Of course they didn't care since I was sleeping right next to them, but I was nervous. I went to the bathroom at 4:30 a.m. to change the fast speed film into the F3 because I knew that I could lift the mirror to make it a little quieter. I went back to my futon and waited for the morning light. I kept thinking that maybe I should bag the idea, but something made me want to push myself. If you don't try you will never know has kind of been my motto this trip when I am nervous about shooting something. I always think what is the worst thing that can happen. At least here in Japan, I won't be shot or beaten up. And so far the worst thing that has happened is that I have been ignored.
As the morning light came in both of them were sleeping facing each other with their faces almost making a heart shape aimed up out of the futon. The light illuminated their faces only. I quietly mounted my camera on a monopod and focused, lifted the mirror and shot a few frames. Then went back to the futon and waited for a few more minutes. They got up at 6:00 so the time was nearing, and I had only one or two chances. I did not want to wake them and I did not want to scare them. As the light got brighter (not that bright it was cloudy f2 1sec) I got up and fired off a few more frames. As I was finishing the grandmother woke up. She looked at my feet, and not recognizing them got a scared look in her eye, but quickly remembered, looking up at my face smiled and went back to sleep. I took one more picture and got in my futon feeling good because even if the photos are not what I need for the project, I pushed through a fear I had. Why did I need photos of a grandmother sleeping with her grandson? Was it necessary? yes. This is a big role for the grandparents in the traditional family, care taker of the grandchildren in the family. A major part of that included sleeping with them. This grandmother was extremely proud because her grandchild, Ryuuta, recently had been doing well at the running races at school. Usually he came in last out of 41 students (he is a very round kid and only eats meat) but since he had been sleeping with her he had started placing higher, first 31st then 28th. I think this is an important part of the grandparent's role in the family and I think that when in the nursing home they have to try and adapt this role as best they can with the younger care workers.
Friday, September 26 - Kawabe, Japan
My Obaasan (grandmother of the house I am staying in) forgot and left a pan on the stove for the third time in two weeks. The house smells of burned daikon radish. She is now running around opening windows and spraying fragrances to rid the house of the smell before my friend/her daughter-in-law comes home. She says Kazuko will get angry. She has been my pal for the past month or two letting me photograph most of her activities. And I have rescued many forgotten pans from the flames. Last night when I spent the night at the neighbor's house, they told me that Obaachan said she loves me. In Japan it is a big deal to use the words "ai shite iru" which basically means you love someone. She hasn't told me this, but I guess the entire neighborhood knows. That has been happening frequently lately. People will tell me things about me, places I have been, things I have done but they were no where near me when I did them, or I hadn't even met them yet. Word in a small town travels faster through the rice fields and the small family gardens than by television or radio.
Today again I am battling a cold. It is perfect weather to sit around all day and sleep. It is cold and rainy. I did go by the agricultural co-op to tell them that I wanted to come back on another day when the weather was nicer. And I went by to check out this organization called "Home Helper" which brings meals to the elderly who live alone in this town. It may be a little late to start this but I thought I at least need to attempt to present an imaged pointing to alternative forms of care for the elderly.
Slippers, shoes and bicycles
The Japanese always know where you are. If you go to the toilet, the toilet slippers are missing. If you are home, your shoes are in the entryway. I myself have become addicted to this game of figuring out who is home and who has gone out. Today as I was driving around, I discovered another way that people know where you are, the bicycle. Scattered throughout the gardens and rice fields were carefully parked bicycles. Their bicycles are vintage steel model, dating back about 30 years. They all have baskets. The older people ride them because they do not know how to drive. And basically they become markers for whose grandmother is in the woods picking mushrooms or beans.
Saturday, September 27 - Kawabe, Japan
I awoke this morning to what I thought was an earthquake. I was told that it was actually a thunderstorm and very high winds. It is raining again. Chopped yellow rice stems float in the puddles in the now bare fields. For the farmers that have not harvested their rice yet, they are all complaining with a smile about the weather. Everyone has taken off vacation days during this time in anticipation of the harvest, but everyone is sitting around because nothing can be done in this weather. Wet rice ruins the blades of the combines as well as the other mechanical parts. Still plagued by this cold, I am finding this small break a brief respite from the hectic schedule of the past few weeks and the ensuing hectic schedule as I try to shoot my last few assignments as well as say goodbye to many friends.
Sunday, September 28 - Kawabe, Japan
Here is an Oasis (written on a watering can at my homestay)
Some Japanese English has a nice ring to it for me. It strikes some kind of artistic chord when I read it. It is simple, yet holds some kind of deeper meaning if you sit and contemplate it for a while. There is a Japanese way. I am sure you have heard about this. In fact the Japanese are very proud of this. It is an intangible way of living your life, a perspective colored by contemplations and structured around simplicity. I have to again emphasize that I am talking about this Japan, Tohoku, Japan Akita Prefecture, Kawabe Machi, Japan. Not Tokyo. And I also have to emphasize that this is for the older people. I still am at a loss for figuring out the younger people.Thus the duration of this project will be spent looking at the older citizens.
In my shooting, I am searching for signposts, markers telling of the inner soul of these people. Hands folded neatly in the lap, sitting back contemplating the flower arrangement, scissors neatly placed, details. I have said it before Japan is a country who's story is told in both the careful attention to and the lack of attention for details, the Monster arms sitting next to the plants in the entryway, the plastic fish sitting in the bowl of water with rocks greeting visitors as they walk in, the Winnie the Pooh plaque in the toilet, the piles of old faded stuffed animals in the upstairs hallway, the piles of junk behind the garage, the mother wearing the Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt, the colorful arrangements of morsels carefully placed on the tiny plate. Details. The face holds little information, but look around there is much to be read. The body language also reveals the spirit behind the mask. I remember when I first came to Japan, I was hypnotized by the body language. The delicate but thoughtful movement of the hands, no energy wasted and with total awareness of each finger the hand would pick up a flower or cut a carrot.
With just over a week left to really shoot and still lots of rain, I feel like I am in pretty good shape. I plan to go back to Kawabe So for one more visit although there is not much more that I feel is missing except maybe another shot of a tired care-worker. I have not really photographed the "d" word, death. But as far as I am concerned that is not what I am looking at, I am looking at life there. I have photographed some of the sicker members, and perhaps I should have been more mindful of this, but I feel like there is a certain literal translation with images like that that I want to try and avoid. If looking at the images, one doesn't understand that this is the last stop, then ? What? There are sign posts all over these photos pointing to eventual deterioration and death.
As for the younger members of this community, I am totally confused by them. On one hand they are totally selfish idiots (to be totally boorish) and then on the other hand they are not malicious or mean or hateful either. They play their video games or go drinking all day and night, but then will go to a traditional dance lesson for a few hours, or help out their family with the rice farming (at least those who have chosen to stay here). They don't participate in many family gatherings except for meals and that is only if they are home. Occasionally their friends will come over and they will all get drunk with the father and have a total great time laughing and talking. Then they disappear, diving into their inner darkness with lengthy isolation spent smoking cigarettes and sleeping while listening to rap and other Western and Japanese western style musicians. They seem to be much more complex than I can handle in this short amount of time.
Monday, September 29 - Kawabe, Japan
Here is an oasis and so I write. Every day I go to sleep with one new small memory that I want to hold in my hand and put in my pocket. Each memory piles on the other, building a small oasis as I think forward to when I will be back in the States frantically working to put all this together. The slow moving old men and women on their bicycles will be replaced with fast speeding cars and impending deadlines. Yesterday it was Kazuko and I taking a little trip to the wild part of the neighboring prefecture. The small narrow road winding through lush green forests dropped us off at an old onsen (hot spring) that was renowned for its fertility enhancing water. In the women’s half there were two outside baths, an inside bath and a Jacuzzi. The two outside baths had different purposes one was for long life the other was to increase fertility. Just in case you were unsure about the main purpose of this onsen (hot spring) there was a large brass penis about the size of a school chair erected in the women's outdoor spa. I am still wondering if it erected as some kind of reminder. I asked if the men had a similar sort of monument to our genitalia in their spa. Kazuko said she didn't know because she hadn't been in the men's side but assumed they did.
My cold is almost gone, but I am plagued by the longing to sleep - all the time. Is it mono? I doubt it so I keep structuring my days with assignments but the rain has a way of changing my plans. Today the clouds are large fast-moving white billowy plumes that keeping me guessing up to the last minute if I am going to shoot or not. I photographed a grandmother I know taking her grandson to school on her bike, but it was gray and not that interesting. I am going back when she picks him up from school maybe the weather will be nicer.
All replies are welcome.
I miss bagels and the sun.
jen
Monday, September 29, 1997
Monday, September 22, 1997
Field Notes from My Master's Project in Japan 1997: Week 10
Week Ten
Tuesday, September 16 - Kawabe, Japan
Typhoon
There is a typhoon coming to Akita. It has been coming to Akita for about four days now and it is all anyone can talk about. Every thirty minutes on TV are updates on the destruction from this large cloud of water. What this means to me is that most of my outside shooting of nice morning light, gardening, farming or sunsets is put on hold.
I spent last night photographing three wild young things sing their hearts out in a karoke box the size of a US bathroom, while drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. Yes I got it on tape, as well as me singing Bad Girls by Donna Summer and Holiday by Madonna, all off key. “Abandon Hope (for your ears) all ye who enter here” should have been hung on the door of our little room. Then because it was early (11:00 p.m.) they decided to drive around and look at the large freighters and ships docked at the port. Mind you I am on old people time and by 10:00 p.m., I was wishing I was tucked into my nice cozy futon.
I am following this young twenty year old, Izumi Sato. She lives in a household that has basically three different lifestyles living under one roof. There is a grandmother who sits on the floor, a father who sits at the table and Izumi, stands always ready to catch the phone when it rings. She hates being at home and does not get along with her family because they just "don't understand her." She drives a cool little car bought by Daddy, and carries a little portable phone, also paid for by Daddy. Her friends are number one, and she looks so sophisticated with her blue polished toes and fingernails, dressed in the finest fashions and smoking the expensive clove cigarettes from Indonesia (though she can't read where they are from and in Indonesia they cost about a tenth of what they cost here) but when you talk to her you realize that she is just a little girl. I want to show the differences of generations here with the older people. She is perfect, I think.
This morning I woke up to brilliant gray light. I am starting to really like this light because it has a magical quality for photographing. My plans to photograph had fallen through because of the weather not being sunny so I was planning on dealing with this project some more. Obaachan had to go to the hospital today for her bimonthly shot. I offered to drive her because of the weather and I did not want her riding her bike. Of course I brought along my camera. Well word went out about the shuttle, first thing we did was stop and pick up her friend who also wanted to go to the doctor. It is important to note that the hospital is a social gathering place for many old people. Many go everyday. They receive mild shots and get treated for different ailments like a stiff neck or sore legs.
We sat in the waiting room. Her friend was my good will ambassador and went around explaining to everyone that I was a student here from America and that for omiage (presents that you bring back for friends and family when you go on a trip) I was taking pictures in this small clinic's waiting room. Everyone was delighted to help out. There were about nine people in the waiting room and the average age was 69, wait I just averaged it out and the average age was 75 (not counting me or the 2 year old that walked in half way through). There were four people over 80. The light was beautiful brilliant gray and as they sat legs uncrossed hands in their laps waiting to be called, I snapped photos. They talked and socialized. I met one cute 85 year old as spunky as can be who jumped up and trotted over to me insisting on taking my picture as an omiage. She said for me to choose where I would stand and she would take the picture. I thanked her and said my mother would be delighted with the photo. She comes to the hospital every morning without fail.
Obaachan met with the doctor who was delighted to practice the English he learned while an elementary student in Taipei about 35 years ago. He asked me to write my name and university down before we met him. The nurses interviewed my good will ambassador (Obaachan's friend who came with us) and made some notes in the margins. The doctor then proceeded to give Obaachan laser treatment and then a shot in her neck. He then prescribed 15 minutes of lying down in this strange massage machine that actually stretches you out. Obaachan said it hurts but that the feeling overall is good. I took some hilarious photos of her with this strap around her neck and a scrunched up expression on her face. I also took some of her and her friend both lying side by side in these machines. Bizarre. What I took from this is that it is more like a massage machine. If I am correct I think that many of the people come for the massage machine and call that going to the doctor, when it is more like a massage therapy. Returning home was a journey, as two 72 year old women shouted out directions admitting they had no idea how to go home because they took the back routes by bike or came by bus.
Tonight is a full moon and once a year a special offering is made in the Fall to the full moon to ask for health and guidance and whatever else you want. You also make a special offering to the dead ancestors of the house. I actually like how the Japanese remember their deceased by putting a photograph up on a special altar. Then every morning they bring them rice and say thank you or hello, ask for health or whatever they need, but basically they remember those who were once living with them but now have left. It seems like a more holistic approach to death to me. There is a real sense that these ancestors still are valued and not forgotten. I brought home some doughnuts one day. The first thing Obaachan did was put them on the butsudan (the altar) for Ohake sama (deceased ancestors) to enjoy. I remember thinking at first that this was kind of funny, but then I thought what a nice gesture of remembrance. Death is a very integral of the Japanese culture. There are always some kind of celebrations going on for someone's death .A major foot note: MOSTLY THE OLDER PEOPLE DO THIS, FROM WHAT I HAVE OBSERVED, THE YOUNGER PEOPLE DO NOT DO THIS NOR DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS IS A COUNTRY RITUAL OR NOT, BUT I HAVE NOT HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN THE CITY AND I DID NOT WITNESS THIS TEN YEARS BEFORE IN OSAKA.
Wednesday, September 17 - Kawabe, Japan
Kawabe So
I had a hard time getting motivated this morning. It was pouring rain and cold. I awoke with the feeling that this project is kind of sitting in one place and not really moving forward because of a lack of decision making on my part. But with photography, although I find the content is guided by thoughts, it is really by the subjects being photographed. I try to make photographs that fit into the ideas that I have.
They moved Mrs. Noto into another room. I went to her old room today to bring her a Japanese okashi (small cake) and she was gone. I then went to Mrs. Toita's room to ask her what happened to Mrs. Noto. Mrs. Toita didn't know who she was, but held my hand and walked around with me until we found her. I gave them each a little cake. The Japanese don't really get to hung up on names. They remember those of their family, close friends, and store clerks, but that is about it.
Today was the tanjokai at Kawabe So. Basically they celebrated all the September birthdays. They cook really yummy food, serve sake and beer, and sing songs. Everyone really had a good time. The photos aren't that great, the light was real flat and florescent.
Thursday, September 18 - Kawabe, Japan
Kawabe So
Mr. Kawakami is dying. They have moved him from his mattress on the tatami mat into a bed in the room for the really sick people. He can no longer get up in the morning and write his characters. But he still had the energy to raise his hand and say hello when I visited him.
The elementary students came to visit today. I thought there might be some nice shots of the kids and the elderly people interacting. Then they had a picnic in the park. I got a few nice shots but not much.
Spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find a tall place to photograph the highway and the shinkansen from. Not much. Got nice and wet though. I also mapped out my essay and part of the Kawabe So photos. I feel like I am not very good at thinking these kinds of projects through. Well actually I think them through really well but when it comes to decision making it is kind of hard for me to focus my ideas. The elderly seem to be really dominant in my photographs and I am trying to find some kinds of contrasts and similarities between the lives in the nursing home and their lives outside. This is also starkly contrasted by the lives of the younger Japanese.
Friday, September 19 - Kawabe, Japan
Anata wa, ii koto (You are a good thing)
It was pouring again this morning. All of Obaachan's friends came over because they can't work in the gardens when it is raining or wet. About five women over 70 years old sipping tea and eating beans. They gather and talk and sing songs and cackle and discuss what is wrong with everything. They gathered around this large round table. I like the look of the circle and the figures sitting around it. I took pictures of course. I also taped them singing a few songs. Obaachan was having so much fun she ran to the pantry and grabbed a small cup of sake and started drinking. The others thought that was hilarious. I hung out and talked with them. They had the dirtiest mouths, well my Obaachan had a dirty mouth and a few other chimed in. But we laughed and drank tea. They all said that they were jealous that Obaachan had me living in her house because she could talk to me everyday. They talked about me for a bit none of which I understood except for kimochi ii (which means good feelings). So I finally said eh? nani (what). And they all said "Anata wa ii koto” (you are a good thing). That was nice. One of the granny's daughter-in-law came with her two kids. She didn't interact much at all and sat kind of back from the group while her kids ran around like crazy. After she left there was a big discussion about the selfish younger people today.
Mr. Kawakami died early this morning. I feel kind of sad. I fed him some water yesterday and talked to him for a little bit saying thank you and that I really liked visiting him. He raised his hand and grabbed mine tightly and whispered "arigato” (thank you). I said I would see him again. I guess I kind of knew this was going to happen. It seems that now that summer is over and the seasons are changing. People are growing older before my eyes. I feel like I should have been at the nursing home last night to photograph this, but what can I do.
I picked up a bunch of film today. I feel like I shoot a lot of garbage as kind of a knee-jerk reaction, kind of a fear that if I don't shoot nothing will happen. Well film is not cheap and I am almost out of the high speed film so I am really going to make a point of being more careful. I photographed the shinkansen and the highway at sunset tonight. I want some kind of photo to illustrate that this town is not all green forests, rice fields, and small vegetable gardens, changes are happening in this town.
Saturday, September 20 - Kawabe, Japan
Ashita wa, ashita no kaze fuku (As for tomorrow, tomorrow's winds will blow or Tomorrow is another day.)
I learned this phrase at 2:00am from a small Japanese 20 year-old boy who looked like James Dean and was drinking gin straight for the first time. He could speak pretty good English and said that he wanted to go to America and Europe. He said he was working a part-time job and that he wasn't really able to save money, as he ordered another eight dollar drink. A young 20 year-old girl I know from taiko was going out to her favorite bar and asked me if I wanted to join them. I brought my camera along for some fun pictures of drunk Japanese kids. I thought that a bar scene would contrast nicely the earthy pictures that I have of the older people. I used a flash and a monopod. I never know with flash if it is working or not but if you don't try you will never know. I also colored the light a red or a blue to see if that would give me any cool effects. I ended up focusing other people besides the girls I came with because they were rather calm and collected and there were a bunch of other really drunk people with big smiles and exaggerated gestures. We will see. Anyway I came home and went to bed around 4:00 am. I was still asleep when another friend called to say that there was this special day at the elementary school dedicated to grandparents so they could come to the school and see what their grandkids were doing. I went because I thought I could find more about the role of grandparents in this community.
I wasn't motivated to shoot because there really was not much interaction. I took a couple of shots of grandparents at the back of the classroom but didn't want to waste my film. I have been increasingly frustrated with my shooting. I sit and think that I am probably the worst photographer on earth. Some might say this is ridiculous, and granted it is, but will I ever get it? Everything I am photographing feels really boring to me now. I am not fast enough yet to capture any kind of activity, and although I try, I don't have the foresight to predict what is going to happen next. There is a Zen belief that only those who let go of their longing to be a true master and just accept that they always going to be learning (or translated as really bad), truly become great.
I just returned from photographing a bunch of old ladies in their garden. The older people here have several clearly defined roles in the family. One is tending to the family garden, and often to the rice fields. Most of the parents work full time which means that they can only tend to the fields on the weekend or before. Many of my photos, even though they are not very multidimensional (hopefully before the time I die I will be able to do these kinds of photos), are demonstrative of the roles of the grandparents in the family and the community. I am photographing the young people to highlight the differences in lifestyles and how the different generations are really miles apart. This seems to me like a nice way to set up for the Kawabe So essay which takes many of these roles and adapts them to the institution, but also shows a different relationship with young people than previously seen. I want the photos to be a stark contrast because that is really what is happening. At no other time than now are the generations farther apart. This will all change in the future because the parents of today's kids grew up with TV and tables and beds.
Sunday, September 21 - Kawabe, Japan
Kawabe So
I went to Kawabe So again today. It was Sunday and I wanted to get some photos of visiting family members. Pictures were OK. I didn't want to go. It is becoming increasingly hard to think about saying goodbye to these people. I saw Mrs. Noto. Her face is swollen still but not as bad as before. She wants me to call her daughter. She says that she can't talk or that they won't let her call her daughter. I asked the nurse about her. I guess she won't eat the finely cut up food and that keeps aggravating her gums. Once her gums heal, she will get her new teeth. I am kind of uncertain about what to do. My gut feeling is that she is OK and that this place doesn't really do bad things. I think she is just really homesick. I get the feeling that many of the nurses don't want to hear her talk about being homesick. I am going back on Wednesday. The problem is that I am never sure how much people remember. Old age no matter what country has its fallout like forgetfulness (even I suffer from this), many of these people really don't know what they are saying and answers to my questions have to be double checked with the nurses or other staff members. I am still worried about her.
It feels like my work with the permanent residents at Kawabe So is almost over. Maybe this is a mistake to think so, but I want to spend a little bit of time focusing on the day service center. I have a few photos that I still want to capture, but that is about it.
Monday, September 22 - Kawabe, Japan
Chasing the Fog
I feel like a real photographer, I am addicted to weather reports. It is all I can talk about, that and when the cutting of the rice begins. Everyone talks about the weather here, in fact it is the first thing that you learn in Japanese class anywhere is weather words. It is kind of like a greeting to say it has started to turn cold. Also this time of year in this part of the country, everyone talks about when their family is going to begin harvesting rice. They all say in an optimistic tone, tomorrow and then it rains and they say in a few days, and then it rains again. It has rained every day.
I woke up at 6:00 am today. It was cloudy once again, but there was this cool fog cloaking the entire town and rice fields. I decided to go check out the train station. This turned out to be a waste of time because there wasn't any fog there. As I was returning home, I noticed that it still was holding over the rice fields near the mountains. I decided to go chase it. I drove by these rice fields and there was a little old lady riding her bike to her garden located in the middle of the rice fields. I jumped out of the car with my camera and 80-200 mounted on a monopod. As she rode through the fog to her garden I photographed her.
I am still working on the old people and their outside role to complement the nursing home. I am not sure this is going to work but I am going to try while still working at the nursing home for these last two weeks. Today a teacher friend of mine said that there was this interesting old lady that I should go meet. He escorted me to two people's house. I think this was more for his benefit than mine because the photo opportunities were nil and he did a lot of the talking. I did learn more about some old Japanese traditions that are dying out. I took a few photos of this old guy's wife serving tea in a very traditional fashion but that is about it.
In the afternoon I met with a grandmother who cares for her grandson while the parents work. I want to photograph the care-taking role of the grandmother for the grandchild. This is an important part of the grandparents’ purpose, though it has been changing since the families are starting to become more separated and live apart. That is next week.
Again sorry these are boring, and not full of anecdotes. I wish I had the time.
Tuesday, September 16 - Kawabe, Japan
Typhoon
There is a typhoon coming to Akita. It has been coming to Akita for about four days now and it is all anyone can talk about. Every thirty minutes on TV are updates on the destruction from this large cloud of water. What this means to me is that most of my outside shooting of nice morning light, gardening, farming or sunsets is put on hold.
I spent last night photographing three wild young things sing their hearts out in a karoke box the size of a US bathroom, while drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. Yes I got it on tape, as well as me singing Bad Girls by Donna Summer and Holiday by Madonna, all off key. “Abandon Hope (for your ears) all ye who enter here” should have been hung on the door of our little room. Then because it was early (11:00 p.m.) they decided to drive around and look at the large freighters and ships docked at the port. Mind you I am on old people time and by 10:00 p.m., I was wishing I was tucked into my nice cozy futon.
I am following this young twenty year old, Izumi Sato. She lives in a household that has basically three different lifestyles living under one roof. There is a grandmother who sits on the floor, a father who sits at the table and Izumi, stands always ready to catch the phone when it rings. She hates being at home and does not get along with her family because they just "don't understand her." She drives a cool little car bought by Daddy, and carries a little portable phone, also paid for by Daddy. Her friends are number one, and she looks so sophisticated with her blue polished toes and fingernails, dressed in the finest fashions and smoking the expensive clove cigarettes from Indonesia (though she can't read where they are from and in Indonesia they cost about a tenth of what they cost here) but when you talk to her you realize that she is just a little girl. I want to show the differences of generations here with the older people. She is perfect, I think.
This morning I woke up to brilliant gray light. I am starting to really like this light because it has a magical quality for photographing. My plans to photograph had fallen through because of the weather not being sunny so I was planning on dealing with this project some more. Obaachan had to go to the hospital today for her bimonthly shot. I offered to drive her because of the weather and I did not want her riding her bike. Of course I brought along my camera. Well word went out about the shuttle, first thing we did was stop and pick up her friend who also wanted to go to the doctor. It is important to note that the hospital is a social gathering place for many old people. Many go everyday. They receive mild shots and get treated for different ailments like a stiff neck or sore legs.
We sat in the waiting room. Her friend was my good will ambassador and went around explaining to everyone that I was a student here from America and that for omiage (presents that you bring back for friends and family when you go on a trip) I was taking pictures in this small clinic's waiting room. Everyone was delighted to help out. There were about nine people in the waiting room and the average age was 69, wait I just averaged it out and the average age was 75 (not counting me or the 2 year old that walked in half way through). There were four people over 80. The light was beautiful brilliant gray and as they sat legs uncrossed hands in their laps waiting to be called, I snapped photos. They talked and socialized. I met one cute 85 year old as spunky as can be who jumped up and trotted over to me insisting on taking my picture as an omiage. She said for me to choose where I would stand and she would take the picture. I thanked her and said my mother would be delighted with the photo. She comes to the hospital every morning without fail.
Obaachan met with the doctor who was delighted to practice the English he learned while an elementary student in Taipei about 35 years ago. He asked me to write my name and university down before we met him. The nurses interviewed my good will ambassador (Obaachan's friend who came with us) and made some notes in the margins. The doctor then proceeded to give Obaachan laser treatment and then a shot in her neck. He then prescribed 15 minutes of lying down in this strange massage machine that actually stretches you out. Obaachan said it hurts but that the feeling overall is good. I took some hilarious photos of her with this strap around her neck and a scrunched up expression on her face. I also took some of her and her friend both lying side by side in these machines. Bizarre. What I took from this is that it is more like a massage machine. If I am correct I think that many of the people come for the massage machine and call that going to the doctor, when it is more like a massage therapy. Returning home was a journey, as two 72 year old women shouted out directions admitting they had no idea how to go home because they took the back routes by bike or came by bus.
Tonight is a full moon and once a year a special offering is made in the Fall to the full moon to ask for health and guidance and whatever else you want. You also make a special offering to the dead ancestors of the house. I actually like how the Japanese remember their deceased by putting a photograph up on a special altar. Then every morning they bring them rice and say thank you or hello, ask for health or whatever they need, but basically they remember those who were once living with them but now have left. It seems like a more holistic approach to death to me. There is a real sense that these ancestors still are valued and not forgotten. I brought home some doughnuts one day. The first thing Obaachan did was put them on the butsudan (the altar) for Ohake sama (deceased ancestors) to enjoy. I remember thinking at first that this was kind of funny, but then I thought what a nice gesture of remembrance. Death is a very integral of the Japanese culture. There are always some kind of celebrations going on for someone's death .A major foot note: MOSTLY THE OLDER PEOPLE DO THIS, FROM WHAT I HAVE OBSERVED, THE YOUNGER PEOPLE DO NOT DO THIS NOR DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT. I AM NOT SURE IF THIS IS A COUNTRY RITUAL OR NOT, BUT I HAVE NOT HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN THE CITY AND I DID NOT WITNESS THIS TEN YEARS BEFORE IN OSAKA.
Wednesday, September 17 - Kawabe, Japan
Kawabe So
I had a hard time getting motivated this morning. It was pouring rain and cold. I awoke with the feeling that this project is kind of sitting in one place and not really moving forward because of a lack of decision making on my part. But with photography, although I find the content is guided by thoughts, it is really by the subjects being photographed. I try to make photographs that fit into the ideas that I have.
They moved Mrs. Noto into another room. I went to her old room today to bring her a Japanese okashi (small cake) and she was gone. I then went to Mrs. Toita's room to ask her what happened to Mrs. Noto. Mrs. Toita didn't know who she was, but held my hand and walked around with me until we found her. I gave them each a little cake. The Japanese don't really get to hung up on names. They remember those of their family, close friends, and store clerks, but that is about it.
Today was the tanjokai at Kawabe So. Basically they celebrated all the September birthdays. They cook really yummy food, serve sake and beer, and sing songs. Everyone really had a good time. The photos aren't that great, the light was real flat and florescent.
Thursday, September 18 - Kawabe, Japan
Kawabe So
Mr. Kawakami is dying. They have moved him from his mattress on the tatami mat into a bed in the room for the really sick people. He can no longer get up in the morning and write his characters. But he still had the energy to raise his hand and say hello when I visited him.
The elementary students came to visit today. I thought there might be some nice shots of the kids and the elderly people interacting. Then they had a picnic in the park. I got a few nice shots but not much.
Spent the rest of the afternoon trying to find a tall place to photograph the highway and the shinkansen from. Not much. Got nice and wet though. I also mapped out my essay and part of the Kawabe So photos. I feel like I am not very good at thinking these kinds of projects through. Well actually I think them through really well but when it comes to decision making it is kind of hard for me to focus my ideas. The elderly seem to be really dominant in my photographs and I am trying to find some kinds of contrasts and similarities between the lives in the nursing home and their lives outside. This is also starkly contrasted by the lives of the younger Japanese.
Friday, September 19 - Kawabe, Japan
Anata wa, ii koto (You are a good thing)
It was pouring again this morning. All of Obaachan's friends came over because they can't work in the gardens when it is raining or wet. About five women over 70 years old sipping tea and eating beans. They gather and talk and sing songs and cackle and discuss what is wrong with everything. They gathered around this large round table. I like the look of the circle and the figures sitting around it. I took pictures of course. I also taped them singing a few songs. Obaachan was having so much fun she ran to the pantry and grabbed a small cup of sake and started drinking. The others thought that was hilarious. I hung out and talked with them. They had the dirtiest mouths, well my Obaachan had a dirty mouth and a few other chimed in. But we laughed and drank tea. They all said that they were jealous that Obaachan had me living in her house because she could talk to me everyday. They talked about me for a bit none of which I understood except for kimochi ii (which means good feelings). So I finally said eh? nani (what). And they all said "Anata wa ii koto” (you are a good thing). That was nice. One of the granny's daughter-in-law came with her two kids. She didn't interact much at all and sat kind of back from the group while her kids ran around like crazy. After she left there was a big discussion about the selfish younger people today.
Mr. Kawakami died early this morning. I feel kind of sad. I fed him some water yesterday and talked to him for a little bit saying thank you and that I really liked visiting him. He raised his hand and grabbed mine tightly and whispered "arigato” (thank you). I said I would see him again. I guess I kind of knew this was going to happen. It seems that now that summer is over and the seasons are changing. People are growing older before my eyes. I feel like I should have been at the nursing home last night to photograph this, but what can I do.
I picked up a bunch of film today. I feel like I shoot a lot of garbage as kind of a knee-jerk reaction, kind of a fear that if I don't shoot nothing will happen. Well film is not cheap and I am almost out of the high speed film so I am really going to make a point of being more careful. I photographed the shinkansen and the highway at sunset tonight. I want some kind of photo to illustrate that this town is not all green forests, rice fields, and small vegetable gardens, changes are happening in this town.
Saturday, September 20 - Kawabe, Japan
Ashita wa, ashita no kaze fuku (As for tomorrow, tomorrow's winds will blow or Tomorrow is another day.)
I learned this phrase at 2:00am from a small Japanese 20 year-old boy who looked like James Dean and was drinking gin straight for the first time. He could speak pretty good English and said that he wanted to go to America and Europe. He said he was working a part-time job and that he wasn't really able to save money, as he ordered another eight dollar drink. A young 20 year-old girl I know from taiko was going out to her favorite bar and asked me if I wanted to join them. I brought my camera along for some fun pictures of drunk Japanese kids. I thought that a bar scene would contrast nicely the earthy pictures that I have of the older people. I used a flash and a monopod. I never know with flash if it is working or not but if you don't try you will never know. I also colored the light a red or a blue to see if that would give me any cool effects. I ended up focusing other people besides the girls I came with because they were rather calm and collected and there were a bunch of other really drunk people with big smiles and exaggerated gestures. We will see. Anyway I came home and went to bed around 4:00 am. I was still asleep when another friend called to say that there was this special day at the elementary school dedicated to grandparents so they could come to the school and see what their grandkids were doing. I went because I thought I could find more about the role of grandparents in this community.
I wasn't motivated to shoot because there really was not much interaction. I took a couple of shots of grandparents at the back of the classroom but didn't want to waste my film. I have been increasingly frustrated with my shooting. I sit and think that I am probably the worst photographer on earth. Some might say this is ridiculous, and granted it is, but will I ever get it? Everything I am photographing feels really boring to me now. I am not fast enough yet to capture any kind of activity, and although I try, I don't have the foresight to predict what is going to happen next. There is a Zen belief that only those who let go of their longing to be a true master and just accept that they always going to be learning (or translated as really bad), truly become great.
I just returned from photographing a bunch of old ladies in their garden. The older people here have several clearly defined roles in the family. One is tending to the family garden, and often to the rice fields. Most of the parents work full time which means that they can only tend to the fields on the weekend or before. Many of my photos, even though they are not very multidimensional (hopefully before the time I die I will be able to do these kinds of photos), are demonstrative of the roles of the grandparents in the family and the community. I am photographing the young people to highlight the differences in lifestyles and how the different generations are really miles apart. This seems to me like a nice way to set up for the Kawabe So essay which takes many of these roles and adapts them to the institution, but also shows a different relationship with young people than previously seen. I want the photos to be a stark contrast because that is really what is happening. At no other time than now are the generations farther apart. This will all change in the future because the parents of today's kids grew up with TV and tables and beds.
Sunday, September 21 - Kawabe, Japan
Kawabe So
I went to Kawabe So again today. It was Sunday and I wanted to get some photos of visiting family members. Pictures were OK. I didn't want to go. It is becoming increasingly hard to think about saying goodbye to these people. I saw Mrs. Noto. Her face is swollen still but not as bad as before. She wants me to call her daughter. She says that she can't talk or that they won't let her call her daughter. I asked the nurse about her. I guess she won't eat the finely cut up food and that keeps aggravating her gums. Once her gums heal, she will get her new teeth. I am kind of uncertain about what to do. My gut feeling is that she is OK and that this place doesn't really do bad things. I think she is just really homesick. I get the feeling that many of the nurses don't want to hear her talk about being homesick. I am going back on Wednesday. The problem is that I am never sure how much people remember. Old age no matter what country has its fallout like forgetfulness (even I suffer from this), many of these people really don't know what they are saying and answers to my questions have to be double checked with the nurses or other staff members. I am still worried about her.
It feels like my work with the permanent residents at Kawabe So is almost over. Maybe this is a mistake to think so, but I want to spend a little bit of time focusing on the day service center. I have a few photos that I still want to capture, but that is about it.
Monday, September 22 - Kawabe, Japan
Chasing the Fog
I feel like a real photographer, I am addicted to weather reports. It is all I can talk about, that and when the cutting of the rice begins. Everyone talks about the weather here, in fact it is the first thing that you learn in Japanese class anywhere is weather words. It is kind of like a greeting to say it has started to turn cold. Also this time of year in this part of the country, everyone talks about when their family is going to begin harvesting rice. They all say in an optimistic tone, tomorrow and then it rains and they say in a few days, and then it rains again. It has rained every day.
I woke up at 6:00 am today. It was cloudy once again, but there was this cool fog cloaking the entire town and rice fields. I decided to go check out the train station. This turned out to be a waste of time because there wasn't any fog there. As I was returning home, I noticed that it still was holding over the rice fields near the mountains. I decided to go chase it. I drove by these rice fields and there was a little old lady riding her bike to her garden located in the middle of the rice fields. I jumped out of the car with my camera and 80-200 mounted on a monopod. As she rode through the fog to her garden I photographed her.
I am still working on the old people and their outside role to complement the nursing home. I am not sure this is going to work but I am going to try while still working at the nursing home for these last two weeks. Today a teacher friend of mine said that there was this interesting old lady that I should go meet. He escorted me to two people's house. I think this was more for his benefit than mine because the photo opportunities were nil and he did a lot of the talking. I did learn more about some old Japanese traditions that are dying out. I took a few photos of this old guy's wife serving tea in a very traditional fashion but that is about it.
In the afternoon I met with a grandmother who cares for her grandson while the parents work. I want to photograph the care-taking role of the grandmother for the grandchild. This is an important part of the grandparents’ purpose, though it has been changing since the families are starting to become more separated and live apart. That is next week.
Again sorry these are boring, and not full of anecdotes. I wish I had the time.
Friday, September 19, 1997
Field Notes from My Master's Project in Japan 1997: Week 9
Week Nine
Tuesday, September 9, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
AP
I spent all day at the Associated Press. Jim Lagier, the president of AP, was involved in awarding me the scholarship from the Foreign Press Club. He said that if I needed anything I could ask AP. I spent about 7 hours scanning some of the film from the nursing home. It made me happy to see the images larger. It also got me thinking about what was missing. I still want to get some of the care workers working to care for the residents, particularly the bedridden residents.
I also spent about an hour talking with a Japanese reporter and photographer about my project. I explain it to people that I am trying to look at two issues that are affecting the countryside of Japan
1. Aging- Most of the older people live outside the metropolitan areas. The young people are leaving for the city, leaving the aging population alone or placing them in nursing homes. But there are also a fair number of elderly who are still working the family gardens and doing other jobs around the house.
2. Farming is changing. Farmers are finding other crops instead of rice, like peppers. These two photo subjects are linked through the idea of family in the traditional sense of the farmer and in the new adapted form of the nursing home.
In the past two days, I have read quite a bit on the state of the healthcare system in Japan. It all points to the substandard quality of care here. Hospitals are particularly bad with a lack of staff and nursing homes, like in the States, are known to over medicate rowdy residents or tie up patients who may have a tendency to wander, like those with Alzheimer’s. I talked to the two women about their impressions of the care here. I told them about the home I am working in that seems to be a much better place than what I had read about. This got me thinking about what these pictures say. I am not trying to explain all nursing care in Japan. I am only showing a small town nursing home that has become a sort of adapted family/community for the residents and care workers who live and work there.
What was really interesting was that looking at some of my images, the Japanese photographer became visibly uncomfortable. A single working woman in her late 20's, the first thing she brought up that it is really hard for working women in Japan today. Traditionally, they are expected to care for the aging parents of either their husband, or their own parents if there is no son in the family. I hadn't even thought of this. It made me realize the value of showing my photos around. She is from Hiroshima, and now lives in Tokyo. I think she is dealing with some kind of decision like this. She says that there is a lot of guilt surrounding this decision for working women all over Japan, so a story like this seems to bring up some of this guilt. I told her I was grateful that she shared her honest feelings. She also said that she did not think that the aging issue in Japan was a big one. She said that probably not many people think like her, but that she thinks the older populations are going to be retiring later and later. While this is true, I think that regardless of whether they are working or not they are going to be living alone more and more. Of course in the metropolitan areas, it is very rare for the older people to live with the family.
This experience started me thinking about this project, nothing new. I keep making lists of pictures that I have photographed or that I want to photograph, and ideas that I want to include. The nursing home is the biggest chunk of this project. But I am not doing an essay on aging. I am going to spend more time with the farming family for the next few weeks to balance out the nursing home. But I am not sure I am going to be able to get the kind of shots I have from the nursing home.
So what does all this add up to? I feel like I am going around in circles but I also know that this is an important part of the process.
1. I have photos of one institution in the country where old people go when there is no one in the home who can care for them or they cannot care for themselves. I have photographed this home as a kind of family. This home has become an adaptation of both the community and the family with interaction between old and young. But in order to show this better I need to show elderly in the context outside of the home.
2. I have photos of an still-intact traditional family with the grandmother living with the family and the family is farming, though they are not farming rice, they are farming peppers and cows. The grandmother does many of the household chores because the mother works on the farm. The kids watch TV and go to their jobs or school. I am still going to work on this.
3. I have photos of a festival and the week-long holiday to show really young people and the older people as well as some interaction between the young adults and the older people.
I keep asking myself, what do I want to communicate? This is the important question.
It seems like I am spending a lot time looking at elderly people in this area. Could this be some kind of dialogue on their contemporary life and how they have adapted to the modern world?
This essay seems to be centered around adaptation of both the farmer and the elderly. But in order to show adaptation don't I have to show the before and after?
Wednesday, September 10, 1997
Travel from Tokyo to Akita
Thursday, September 11, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Okaerinasai (Welcome Home)
Kawabe So
Being away for two weeks feels like yesterday for a woman who is almost thirty, but it is an eternity for those who have lived out the prime of their life and now move slowly through their daily schedule. Like children who grow quickly, elderly people also grow quickly and two weeks is long enough to see visible changes. Visible changes in the human landscape caught me by surprise as I walked through the cafeteria. It was lunch time and everyone was dealing with the daily struggle of eating. Maybe I am a bad photographer but I don't want to photograph this. I do not want to show this aspect of aging. For some reason it seems too private for a picture and almost demeaning. There is no joy in eating, there is no sadness in eating, only the continued reminder as one struggles to pull the chopsticks up to their mouth or chew their food, that it is getting more and more difficult, even as the size of the food in the bowl becomes smaller and smaller. It feels like I am much more of a voyeur taking photos when they eat than when they are naked taking a bath. ( I did manage to take one photograph)
As always walking in for the first time is a bit of a rush for me. All of a sudden things felt different. Mrs. Noto's eyes weren't smiling, Mr. Sato wasn't there, Mr. Yamakami was more yellow than I remember, and Mrs. Toita seemed smaller. The familiar markers like a silver smile a toothless grin asking if I were going to stay the night, were either absent or seemed distant and foreign.
I saw Mrs. Noto first. She had her head down and was struggling to eat some tofu. I said hi and she slowly looked up. Her eyes were dull and food was dribbling from her lips. She didn't have her teeth in and there was something else wrong. I told her I would come back later after lunch. I saw another woman who is totally deaf and always asks me if I am going to spend the night, which she did today but it felt strange because I had no camera on my back. But she had the same grin and the same devilish look in her eye. Mrs. Toita was busy shuttling residents in their wheel chairs back to their room after they had eaten. But she came scurrying up with her big silver front tooth exposed by her welcoming grin. She grabbed my hand and held it tightly saying Okaerinasai which is what a mother says to her child when she comes back to the home from school, work, anywhere.
I went from room to room saying hi and searching out my friends. I saw Mr. Sato who did not come to eat lunch with all the others. His face lit up as he reached out his right hand and grabbed my hand tightly. I told him he was my only Japanese grandpa. He stiffly bent his head and nodded. He didn't let go of my hand as I asked him if he felt sick today. He nodded and continued to look up, not raising his head only his eyes. I noticed the rock I had given him several weeks before sitting on his bedside table.
I kept thinking about Mrs. Noto. Before I left, I talked to her. The right side of her face was swollen, she said. There was some kind of problem with her teeth. I asked if she had been to the doctor, she said no. I asked if she was taking any medicine, she said no. I felt sick. I decided to ask both the director and a care worker about it to get another story. The care worker said her dentures didn't fit well right now. Later I asked the director what was wrong with Mrs. Noto. He said that her seishintecki was sick, translated this can either mean that her spirit or her mental state is not good. Most of the words in the dictionary lean towards the mental aspect. It is my guess that she is depressed and still wants to go home. She has always had problems with being in the home. Because there are two nurses on staff and a doctor that comes on Wednesdays, it is my guess that someone is aware of this problem. The Japanese place a lot of emphasis on the mental spirit, if ever I am sick they always seem to think that it is because I am worn down mentally. When someone asks you if you are genki (healthy) which they do as a greeting, they really are asking more about your mental health.
The purpose of my visit today was to talk to the director and to show the scanned images. Last night I showed them to my friend Naoko who was the photographer for the newspaper here. She was visibly impressed and said that she really felt a lot of emotion in them. She also made a few observations about the pictures that I never would have known. First of all I have a photo of a giant moth fluttering its wings in an effort to fly, but between it and the outdoors is some glass that has wire in it. Naoko let out a gasp and said this is perfect citing the name of the glass as hamegoroshi, which is a wire reinforced glass that is difficult to break. The director was excited by the photos and made a bunch of students who are studying at Kawabe So for the month come and look at them. Although everyone was busy preparing for the Respect for the Aged Ceremony which happens tomorrow, I managed to have lunch with the director and was able to ask him my questions. Fortunately for me, he met a friend who happened to live in San Francisco for a year and spoke good enough English which helped to clarify the answers.
Here is what I learned:
* Kawabe So was built 20 years ago, it started out as publicly run institution, but now has private management.
* It is closest to an American nursing home in its model, but it is a home strictly for those who need care (those who can't care for themselves, and are sick).
* There are 54 people, 50 are permanent residents, 4 are considered short stay which means they stay for 2 week intervals
*Residents are classified into types A- E
A are bed ridden and really need care
B average, they need some care but for the most part are OK
C Healthy need care, can't care for themselves, no one can care for them
D Small group care (didn't understand this really well)
E Alzheimer’s (there are many in the Day Service Center who are in this category)
* The Day Service Center was opened as a daily facility ( he said primarily for those with Alzheimer’s but I have seen people come who are bed ridden and some come who are very lucid, I have to ask the care workers), but the demand has been so high that they cannot accept people on a daily basis so they have to take turns, the maximum they can come is 3 times a week
* There is a waiting list to get into Kawabe So, there are 10 people waiting.
* It costs 500 yen ($4.50) to go to the Daily Service Center per day everything included except medicine and doctors visits.
* 2 nurses at KS, and 1 for Day Service Center
* Fees for Kawabe So are on a sliding scale, though this whole thing is rather vague to me.
* When a person enters KS, KS receives money from the national (50%), prefecture + town (50%) governments, every month (??), this money is the same regardless of how sick or well the person is. This will change in three years which Iwayasan expects will bring about radical changes in the kind of care for elderly people here. From what I could gather the changes will be in the amount of money paid to the home for the person, the more sick they are, the more money the home will receive. Care for those who are not that sick will really suffer he says, because you can't make any money on them. In addition, in three years all persons 40 or older will have to start paying into a fund that will pay for the care of the growing elderly population.
* It costs about 300,000 per month to live there (about $2700) This is in the country.
* In order to get into KS, you have to meet the prefecture’s requirements. There are many formulas for figuring out if you qualify, but the bottom line is how much income do you have and who ever you live with. If you have too much you can't get in. If you make it then you pay depending on what you have, like a sliding scale. (This I am not sure about, the government pays but so does the resident or family, I think it is related to an insurance).
* KS is considered a tokubetsuyogorojin home - which means special, protective/nursing (big difference can't figure out which one yet) old person’s home, there is another place in the same town called a rojinhokenshisetsu which means old persons health establishment/ facility/service. According to Iwayasan, this is for curing ill people and for short stays, but it really has evolved to keeping people there permanently because there is nowhere for them to go.
I felt like a lot of what he was saying was really pointing to some kind of big issue in the not-so- distant future. Here are some facts:
1. There is a waiting list at KS of 10 people,
2. Almost half of the population of Kawabe town is over 50 with 25% over 65 (it should be noted that this statistic is projected for 2025 for all of Japan),
3. Another 10% are between 45 and 49,
4. Men outnumber women in seven out of nine age category below 45, exceptions are 30-34 and 15-19,
5. But over 45 women outnumber men in 9 out of 11 age categories (women live longer).
Swiss Cheese
In the afternoon, I had two meetings with professors from the University of Minnesota up the hill. Both of them are anthropologists and I left more informed than when I came. The second meeting proved more useful than the first. It was with John Mock. I have met with him before. This time he was much more approachable and I dare say friendly. I showed him the images I had scanned so far and talked with him about the project. His mother was also a documentary photographer which gave him the added insight of knowing a little bit about the field plus how to think through such a project. I told him I felt like my ideas were not really flowing together and that it seemed that this project was a little like Swiss cheese. He said really every project like this is like Swiss cheese, it is up to you to decide how fine the holes are. He said he uses photographs to string words together, and that I should use words to string photographs together if for some reason there is something that needs to be included but is not. From what he saw of the nursing home photos he said he would like to see more of the mechanics of the place, what the building is like. He also mentioned showing some kind of tension to indicate there really are no options here. How the heck am I going to do that? I am still thinking about this. I think I have it in one of my bathing shots and I think the shot of the moth also points to the tension that there is no going home.
I asked him to talk about what he is studying here. Kawabe happens to be one town that he is doing population research on. He mentioned that in the last 40 years, Japan's population has explosively changed. Before WWII, the life expectancy was lower than the US or Western Europe. Now Japan has one of the higher life expectancies. He said that means the country has had/ and will have to completely change its structures to accommodate these aging citizens. Kawabe is just starting to become a bedroom community of the large city nearby so it has both growth and areas that have had to suffer because of the flight into the city.
I also talked to him about the organization of this project. I was confused because I have all these nice images from the nursing home, but also I am continuing to work on the farmer as well as images from the festivals and rice harvest among other things. I told him I wanted to do a small essay but wasn't sure of how to integrate the two things. He gave me a great idea. He said that for any anthropology work, he had to set the context in words. He suggested that I use the mini-essay to set the context in which the nursing home exists (and farm if the work is strong enough). Choosing certain elements of change to feature, like the Taiko group which is really a reinvention of tradition, festivals which are maintenance.
Friday, September 12, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Respect for the Aged Day
Kawabe So had a big ceremony honoring the elderly people who were over 80 and 70 today. I don't think we have anything like this in the States. They all put on their finest clothes, about five put on kimono, and went and sat for an hour and a half listening to heads of the town come and tell them forcefully to be genki (healthy) and thank them for all the wisdom they bestowed on the town. Boring. The best part was the getting dressed. I got some nice shots of this I think.
I also was fascinated with these four students dressed in blue. They seemed like little fairies to me for some reason. I hope the photos convey this. And I took a bunch of photos with my long lens of all the old people's heads and one or two young people in the group. I was thinking maybe this could point to the demographic issue, and liked the look of all the white hair and wrinkles. I also wasted a bunch of film trying to photograph the mechanics of the place. The changing of the diapers seemed like a pretty mechanical thing. I did not want to photograph some old man naked being rolled and changed, but rather the diapers being taken off of this cart. Don't think it worked. They served special food to the residents today too. I took some photos of all the nice colorful food bentos lined up as they were putting the celebratory rice into them. But this got me thinking about how this isn't really what they eat everyday so I may scrap this photo.
Came home after lunch. Kazuko, the woman I am staying with, and I were going to a release party for a friend of ours who is a well known writer here in Akita. He is on TV a lot and has recently written two books on the Akita dialect. The release party was boring, but the nijikai (second-time-party) was good fun. Me, once again bringing the average age down by about 30 years. I met some very interesting folks in the "art" and advertising scene. One man owns a gallery and wants to show my photographs. I am going to send them to him at the beginning of next year. Another guy owns an advertising agency and wants to use some of my photos for his farming clients if he likes them. Plus he said that he also has clients that are in business related to aging so he may use my photos there too. Whatever.
Saturday, September 13, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Kusuri, medicine
I had nothing to do this morning so I went with my homestay grandmother (she is the Obaachan of the homestay where I am staying and we have become close buddies) to her Rojin Club (translated as old people's club) outing. Obaachan always teases me and I call her OObaabaasama which is like Your highness Grand Grandmother. I always go and say goodnight to her and usually catch her singing to herself in bed. She always listens to my conversations and knows exactly what I am doing, but asks anyway where are you going today. I tell her she has big ears and she laughs covering her mouth like so many women here do. She can say two English words, Bye Bye and Gudo nighto. She gets up at 5:00 and goes to the family garden all day where she tends to the garden. I am going to go with her and photograph some time soon. Today they cleaned the shrine in this neighborhood. The neighborhood gives the club money two times a year to clean the Shrine which basically means cut the grass, weed, and sweep. Then everyone goes to the neighborhood community building and eat snacks and drink sake, beer, or juice for the ladies. My Obachan drinks sake. It is her kusuri, medicine.
The cleaning scene was out of a fairy tale. Old women wearing white bonnets and rubber gloves on their hands and knees cutting weeds with sickles. Men holding twig brooms standing around and watching the women work. There were these Tori gates and they were all cleaning under them. Nice. Then we all went back and drank sake at the community center. Obachan started to drink her sake. Then she started to dance and sing laboriously trying to get her friends off their behinds and dance with her, loudly complaining that she was the only fun BaBa. She is quite a character and loves her sake. She was getting everyone up dancing and then I said something funny and she dropped to the floor laughing. She is 72. It was quite a rare moment. She finally talked some one from the audience to come into the middle of the tables and dance on the tatami with her. Two old ladies holding hands dancing, a man and woman singing Karoke looking at a huge TV. Once again nice. At Japanese gatherings, all the tables are set up in a square. People of course sit on the floor and eat drink and talk, then as the time goes on people begin to move around the room to pour beer or juice for people they want to talk to, or to show respect, say thanks whatever.
I have been thinking a lot about a title for this work and for some reason nothing is coming to mind. The word "adapt" keeps popping into my head though and something about an almost completed circle that hints of aging. But so far that is it. I have three weeks left and I am not totally confident that I am going to be able to do good things with this farming story. I am going to try but I am dealing with a totally different scale. The nursing home works because I can move around and not focus on any one person. People get very self conscious. Although they like the attention and they like the photos they don't like being the center of the camera for too long.
The way I see it, I am going to continue to look for photos that hint of this adapting and the fading out of tradition, but I also must look for photos that show what is being adapted. I keep trying to think in terms of themes that run through the work. There is the cleaning theme, the caretaking theme, the bathing theme, the working theme, the farming theme, the gardening theme, socializing theme, the praying theme. Man that seems like to many themes. I need to condense them.
Care taking seems to be a big one among the elderly people both at the home and then the old grandmother who visits her husband in the hospital to do his laundry once a week. Gardening also seems to be a big theme as well for the older people both in the home and at the farm, as well as all the other photos I have of the older people weeding. For the older people there is a sense of consistency surrounding their roles both in the nursing home and at home in the community. For the younger people I have not found this consisitency. I am definitely leaning more and more to looking at older Japanese. It has taken me a while to get here.
Looked at a bunch of my film and I have a few things to kill myself over.
1. Watch the edges of the frame!! Ugh. I get so caught up in what is going on or some cool looking composition that I forget about fingers or tops of heads. I am trying to figure out a way to get in the habit of moving my eyes around the frame before shooting.
Monday, September 19, 1997
Real Gold: deck yet to be determined but the working title of my essay right now.
I keep a pad of paper on the floor next to my futon. It is so that as I lie in bed and think I can jot down ideas about this project. Today I decided to sleep in for me that is until 8:15. I have been thinking about this project non-stop for weeks now, and I am sorry that these field notes have been reduced to ramblings as I slowly untangle my thoughts and ideas in an effort for formulate some kind of coherent outline. But today as I lay in bed listening to the three yappy dogs across the street bark at Obaachan because she likes to aggravate them, the next few weeks of work came together.
First of all the photos of the nursing home are actually life in this nursing home, not all nursing homes, not all old people, just this nursing home in this town. So my idea is to show life similarities and differences outside the nursing home. Using John Mock's idea of an essay to show context, I will contrast scenes from the community that are similar or emphasize differences to scenes in the nursing home. This can be done by looking at the work, the rituals, the activities, and daily life of older people. It all really centers around daily life and how daily life is adapted in the context of an institutional environment.
Time to get busy. I want to ask Obaachan if she will let me photograph her in the Ofuro, and while she is working in the garden. I also want to find an older woman who is caring for her young grandchildren.
And now I would like to take a moment to outline what I am doing right.
1. Access. I have figured out the access issue here in Japan, and figured out when no means yes or OK or I am embarrassed. I really think this is where I am strong. Someone mentioned that I should think about how to develop relationships. I am good at doing this fast. I cannot take good pictures without the access. And I cannot get the access without opening up myself. I often help out the care workers at Kawabe So by walking a resident back to their room, or cooking dinner for the farming family on their sons birthday because they forgot about it, or driving my Japanese grandmother to the hospital because it was raining. I do these things naturally and in the end they really help the photography. Of course, I keep in the forefront of my mind my role in the place.
2. I have figured out the film thing. I still hate color neg., but this Kodak film is actually working out nicely for this project. It has a kind of cool cast to it, and the colors aren't that strong. I shoot the 1600 at 1000 and the multi-speed at 400. Don't recommend it any other way.
3. My shooting is getting better. I can definitely see the difference by comparing the first stuff I shot in Tokyo at the birth center to the stuff now.
4. I can see the light. I wrote a long time ago about how I wanted to try and make the light kiss these people at Kawabe So. I have successfully done that in many photos.
5. I am getting better about not getting pissed off if I miss a shot. It happens and will always happen. In the words of Fred Blocher at the Star, it (the scene) will happen again and if it doesn't, so what. Try again next time.
6. Trusting myself. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this project. I am not making decisions about what to photograph blindly, there is something at work in my head. At times I am not sure why I am photographing certain scenes, but then I realize later why.
7. I am getting more confident shooting. Several times when I had connections to a place or people, I just went in shooting and no one seemed to bat an eye. Of course people will let you know if they do not want to be photographed. And if it is a hospital or place like that I get permission and make my purpose clear. One old woman explained my purpose as I wanted to take back presents from Japan and the presents I was going to return to America with were the photos I was taking of all the people in the hospital waiting room.
That's it for this week. Sorry it is so boring.
xxoo jen
Tuesday, September 9, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
AP
I spent all day at the Associated Press. Jim Lagier, the president of AP, was involved in awarding me the scholarship from the Foreign Press Club. He said that if I needed anything I could ask AP. I spent about 7 hours scanning some of the film from the nursing home. It made me happy to see the images larger. It also got me thinking about what was missing. I still want to get some of the care workers working to care for the residents, particularly the bedridden residents.
I also spent about an hour talking with a Japanese reporter and photographer about my project. I explain it to people that I am trying to look at two issues that are affecting the countryside of Japan
1. Aging- Most of the older people live outside the metropolitan areas. The young people are leaving for the city, leaving the aging population alone or placing them in nursing homes. But there are also a fair number of elderly who are still working the family gardens and doing other jobs around the house.
2. Farming is changing. Farmers are finding other crops instead of rice, like peppers. These two photo subjects are linked through the idea of family in the traditional sense of the farmer and in the new adapted form of the nursing home.
In the past two days, I have read quite a bit on the state of the healthcare system in Japan. It all points to the substandard quality of care here. Hospitals are particularly bad with a lack of staff and nursing homes, like in the States, are known to over medicate rowdy residents or tie up patients who may have a tendency to wander, like those with Alzheimer’s. I talked to the two women about their impressions of the care here. I told them about the home I am working in that seems to be a much better place than what I had read about. This got me thinking about what these pictures say. I am not trying to explain all nursing care in Japan. I am only showing a small town nursing home that has become a sort of adapted family/community for the residents and care workers who live and work there.
What was really interesting was that looking at some of my images, the Japanese photographer became visibly uncomfortable. A single working woman in her late 20's, the first thing she brought up that it is really hard for working women in Japan today. Traditionally, they are expected to care for the aging parents of either their husband, or their own parents if there is no son in the family. I hadn't even thought of this. It made me realize the value of showing my photos around. She is from Hiroshima, and now lives in Tokyo. I think she is dealing with some kind of decision like this. She says that there is a lot of guilt surrounding this decision for working women all over Japan, so a story like this seems to bring up some of this guilt. I told her I was grateful that she shared her honest feelings. She also said that she did not think that the aging issue in Japan was a big one. She said that probably not many people think like her, but that she thinks the older populations are going to be retiring later and later. While this is true, I think that regardless of whether they are working or not they are going to be living alone more and more. Of course in the metropolitan areas, it is very rare for the older people to live with the family.
This experience started me thinking about this project, nothing new. I keep making lists of pictures that I have photographed or that I want to photograph, and ideas that I want to include. The nursing home is the biggest chunk of this project. But I am not doing an essay on aging. I am going to spend more time with the farming family for the next few weeks to balance out the nursing home. But I am not sure I am going to be able to get the kind of shots I have from the nursing home.
So what does all this add up to? I feel like I am going around in circles but I also know that this is an important part of the process.
1. I have photos of one institution in the country where old people go when there is no one in the home who can care for them or they cannot care for themselves. I have photographed this home as a kind of family. This home has become an adaptation of both the community and the family with interaction between old and young. But in order to show this better I need to show elderly in the context outside of the home.
2. I have photos of an still-intact traditional family with the grandmother living with the family and the family is farming, though they are not farming rice, they are farming peppers and cows. The grandmother does many of the household chores because the mother works on the farm. The kids watch TV and go to their jobs or school. I am still going to work on this.
3. I have photos of a festival and the week-long holiday to show really young people and the older people as well as some interaction between the young adults and the older people.
I keep asking myself, what do I want to communicate? This is the important question.
It seems like I am spending a lot time looking at elderly people in this area. Could this be some kind of dialogue on their contemporary life and how they have adapted to the modern world?
This essay seems to be centered around adaptation of both the farmer and the elderly. But in order to show adaptation don't I have to show the before and after?
Wednesday, September 10, 1997
Travel from Tokyo to Akita
Thursday, September 11, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Okaerinasai (Welcome Home)
Kawabe So
Being away for two weeks feels like yesterday for a woman who is almost thirty, but it is an eternity for those who have lived out the prime of their life and now move slowly through their daily schedule. Like children who grow quickly, elderly people also grow quickly and two weeks is long enough to see visible changes. Visible changes in the human landscape caught me by surprise as I walked through the cafeteria. It was lunch time and everyone was dealing with the daily struggle of eating. Maybe I am a bad photographer but I don't want to photograph this. I do not want to show this aspect of aging. For some reason it seems too private for a picture and almost demeaning. There is no joy in eating, there is no sadness in eating, only the continued reminder as one struggles to pull the chopsticks up to their mouth or chew their food, that it is getting more and more difficult, even as the size of the food in the bowl becomes smaller and smaller. It feels like I am much more of a voyeur taking photos when they eat than when they are naked taking a bath. ( I did manage to take one photograph)
As always walking in for the first time is a bit of a rush for me. All of a sudden things felt different. Mrs. Noto's eyes weren't smiling, Mr. Sato wasn't there, Mr. Yamakami was more yellow than I remember, and Mrs. Toita seemed smaller. The familiar markers like a silver smile a toothless grin asking if I were going to stay the night, were either absent or seemed distant and foreign.
I saw Mrs. Noto first. She had her head down and was struggling to eat some tofu. I said hi and she slowly looked up. Her eyes were dull and food was dribbling from her lips. She didn't have her teeth in and there was something else wrong. I told her I would come back later after lunch. I saw another woman who is totally deaf and always asks me if I am going to spend the night, which she did today but it felt strange because I had no camera on my back. But she had the same grin and the same devilish look in her eye. Mrs. Toita was busy shuttling residents in their wheel chairs back to their room after they had eaten. But she came scurrying up with her big silver front tooth exposed by her welcoming grin. She grabbed my hand and held it tightly saying Okaerinasai which is what a mother says to her child when she comes back to the home from school, work, anywhere.
I went from room to room saying hi and searching out my friends. I saw Mr. Sato who did not come to eat lunch with all the others. His face lit up as he reached out his right hand and grabbed my hand tightly. I told him he was my only Japanese grandpa. He stiffly bent his head and nodded. He didn't let go of my hand as I asked him if he felt sick today. He nodded and continued to look up, not raising his head only his eyes. I noticed the rock I had given him several weeks before sitting on his bedside table.
I kept thinking about Mrs. Noto. Before I left, I talked to her. The right side of her face was swollen, she said. There was some kind of problem with her teeth. I asked if she had been to the doctor, she said no. I asked if she was taking any medicine, she said no. I felt sick. I decided to ask both the director and a care worker about it to get another story. The care worker said her dentures didn't fit well right now. Later I asked the director what was wrong with Mrs. Noto. He said that her seishintecki was sick, translated this can either mean that her spirit or her mental state is not good. Most of the words in the dictionary lean towards the mental aspect. It is my guess that she is depressed and still wants to go home. She has always had problems with being in the home. Because there are two nurses on staff and a doctor that comes on Wednesdays, it is my guess that someone is aware of this problem. The Japanese place a lot of emphasis on the mental spirit, if ever I am sick they always seem to think that it is because I am worn down mentally. When someone asks you if you are genki (healthy) which they do as a greeting, they really are asking more about your mental health.
The purpose of my visit today was to talk to the director and to show the scanned images. Last night I showed them to my friend Naoko who was the photographer for the newspaper here. She was visibly impressed and said that she really felt a lot of emotion in them. She also made a few observations about the pictures that I never would have known. First of all I have a photo of a giant moth fluttering its wings in an effort to fly, but between it and the outdoors is some glass that has wire in it. Naoko let out a gasp and said this is perfect citing the name of the glass as hamegoroshi, which is a wire reinforced glass that is difficult to break. The director was excited by the photos and made a bunch of students who are studying at Kawabe So for the month come and look at them. Although everyone was busy preparing for the Respect for the Aged Ceremony which happens tomorrow, I managed to have lunch with the director and was able to ask him my questions. Fortunately for me, he met a friend who happened to live in San Francisco for a year and spoke good enough English which helped to clarify the answers.
Here is what I learned:
* Kawabe So was built 20 years ago, it started out as publicly run institution, but now has private management.
* It is closest to an American nursing home in its model, but it is a home strictly for those who need care (those who can't care for themselves, and are sick).
* There are 54 people, 50 are permanent residents, 4 are considered short stay which means they stay for 2 week intervals
*Residents are classified into types A- E
A are bed ridden and really need care
B average, they need some care but for the most part are OK
C Healthy need care, can't care for themselves, no one can care for them
D Small group care (didn't understand this really well)
E Alzheimer’s (there are many in the Day Service Center who are in this category)
* The Day Service Center was opened as a daily facility ( he said primarily for those with Alzheimer’s but I have seen people come who are bed ridden and some come who are very lucid, I have to ask the care workers), but the demand has been so high that they cannot accept people on a daily basis so they have to take turns, the maximum they can come is 3 times a week
* There is a waiting list to get into Kawabe So, there are 10 people waiting.
* It costs 500 yen ($4.50) to go to the Daily Service Center per day everything included except medicine and doctors visits.
* 2 nurses at KS, and 1 for Day Service Center
* Fees for Kawabe So are on a sliding scale, though this whole thing is rather vague to me.
* When a person enters KS, KS receives money from the national (50%), prefecture + town (50%) governments, every month (??), this money is the same regardless of how sick or well the person is. This will change in three years which Iwayasan expects will bring about radical changes in the kind of care for elderly people here. From what I could gather the changes will be in the amount of money paid to the home for the person, the more sick they are, the more money the home will receive. Care for those who are not that sick will really suffer he says, because you can't make any money on them. In addition, in three years all persons 40 or older will have to start paying into a fund that will pay for the care of the growing elderly population.
* It costs about 300,000 per month to live there (about $2700) This is in the country.
* In order to get into KS, you have to meet the prefecture’s requirements. There are many formulas for figuring out if you qualify, but the bottom line is how much income do you have and who ever you live with. If you have too much you can't get in. If you make it then you pay depending on what you have, like a sliding scale. (This I am not sure about, the government pays but so does the resident or family, I think it is related to an insurance).
* KS is considered a tokubetsuyogorojin home - which means special, protective/nursing (big difference can't figure out which one yet) old person’s home, there is another place in the same town called a rojinhokenshisetsu which means old persons health establishment/ facility/service. According to Iwayasan, this is for curing ill people and for short stays, but it really has evolved to keeping people there permanently because there is nowhere for them to go.
I felt like a lot of what he was saying was really pointing to some kind of big issue in the not-so- distant future. Here are some facts:
1. There is a waiting list at KS of 10 people,
2. Almost half of the population of Kawabe town is over 50 with 25% over 65 (it should be noted that this statistic is projected for 2025 for all of Japan),
3. Another 10% are between 45 and 49,
4. Men outnumber women in seven out of nine age category below 45, exceptions are 30-34 and 15-19,
5. But over 45 women outnumber men in 9 out of 11 age categories (women live longer).
Swiss Cheese
In the afternoon, I had two meetings with professors from the University of Minnesota up the hill. Both of them are anthropologists and I left more informed than when I came. The second meeting proved more useful than the first. It was with John Mock. I have met with him before. This time he was much more approachable and I dare say friendly. I showed him the images I had scanned so far and talked with him about the project. His mother was also a documentary photographer which gave him the added insight of knowing a little bit about the field plus how to think through such a project. I told him I felt like my ideas were not really flowing together and that it seemed that this project was a little like Swiss cheese. He said really every project like this is like Swiss cheese, it is up to you to decide how fine the holes are. He said he uses photographs to string words together, and that I should use words to string photographs together if for some reason there is something that needs to be included but is not. From what he saw of the nursing home photos he said he would like to see more of the mechanics of the place, what the building is like. He also mentioned showing some kind of tension to indicate there really are no options here. How the heck am I going to do that? I am still thinking about this. I think I have it in one of my bathing shots and I think the shot of the moth also points to the tension that there is no going home.
I asked him to talk about what he is studying here. Kawabe happens to be one town that he is doing population research on. He mentioned that in the last 40 years, Japan's population has explosively changed. Before WWII, the life expectancy was lower than the US or Western Europe. Now Japan has one of the higher life expectancies. He said that means the country has had/ and will have to completely change its structures to accommodate these aging citizens. Kawabe is just starting to become a bedroom community of the large city nearby so it has both growth and areas that have had to suffer because of the flight into the city.
I also talked to him about the organization of this project. I was confused because I have all these nice images from the nursing home, but also I am continuing to work on the farmer as well as images from the festivals and rice harvest among other things. I told him I wanted to do a small essay but wasn't sure of how to integrate the two things. He gave me a great idea. He said that for any anthropology work, he had to set the context in words. He suggested that I use the mini-essay to set the context in which the nursing home exists (and farm if the work is strong enough). Choosing certain elements of change to feature, like the Taiko group which is really a reinvention of tradition, festivals which are maintenance.
Friday, September 12, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Respect for the Aged Day
Kawabe So had a big ceremony honoring the elderly people who were over 80 and 70 today. I don't think we have anything like this in the States. They all put on their finest clothes, about five put on kimono, and went and sat for an hour and a half listening to heads of the town come and tell them forcefully to be genki (healthy) and thank them for all the wisdom they bestowed on the town. Boring. The best part was the getting dressed. I got some nice shots of this I think.
I also was fascinated with these four students dressed in blue. They seemed like little fairies to me for some reason. I hope the photos convey this. And I took a bunch of photos with my long lens of all the old people's heads and one or two young people in the group. I was thinking maybe this could point to the demographic issue, and liked the look of all the white hair and wrinkles. I also wasted a bunch of film trying to photograph the mechanics of the place. The changing of the diapers seemed like a pretty mechanical thing. I did not want to photograph some old man naked being rolled and changed, but rather the diapers being taken off of this cart. Don't think it worked. They served special food to the residents today too. I took some photos of all the nice colorful food bentos lined up as they were putting the celebratory rice into them. But this got me thinking about how this isn't really what they eat everyday so I may scrap this photo.
Came home after lunch. Kazuko, the woman I am staying with, and I were going to a release party for a friend of ours who is a well known writer here in Akita. He is on TV a lot and has recently written two books on the Akita dialect. The release party was boring, but the nijikai (second-time-party) was good fun. Me, once again bringing the average age down by about 30 years. I met some very interesting folks in the "art" and advertising scene. One man owns a gallery and wants to show my photographs. I am going to send them to him at the beginning of next year. Another guy owns an advertising agency and wants to use some of my photos for his farming clients if he likes them. Plus he said that he also has clients that are in business related to aging so he may use my photos there too. Whatever.
Saturday, September 13, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Kusuri, medicine
I had nothing to do this morning so I went with my homestay grandmother (she is the Obaachan of the homestay where I am staying and we have become close buddies) to her Rojin Club (translated as old people's club) outing. Obaachan always teases me and I call her OObaabaasama which is like Your highness Grand Grandmother. I always go and say goodnight to her and usually catch her singing to herself in bed. She always listens to my conversations and knows exactly what I am doing, but asks anyway where are you going today. I tell her she has big ears and she laughs covering her mouth like so many women here do. She can say two English words, Bye Bye and Gudo nighto. She gets up at 5:00 and goes to the family garden all day where she tends to the garden. I am going to go with her and photograph some time soon. Today they cleaned the shrine in this neighborhood. The neighborhood gives the club money two times a year to clean the Shrine which basically means cut the grass, weed, and sweep. Then everyone goes to the neighborhood community building and eat snacks and drink sake, beer, or juice for the ladies. My Obachan drinks sake. It is her kusuri, medicine.
The cleaning scene was out of a fairy tale. Old women wearing white bonnets and rubber gloves on their hands and knees cutting weeds with sickles. Men holding twig brooms standing around and watching the women work. There were these Tori gates and they were all cleaning under them. Nice. Then we all went back and drank sake at the community center. Obachan started to drink her sake. Then she started to dance and sing laboriously trying to get her friends off their behinds and dance with her, loudly complaining that she was the only fun BaBa. She is quite a character and loves her sake. She was getting everyone up dancing and then I said something funny and she dropped to the floor laughing. She is 72. It was quite a rare moment. She finally talked some one from the audience to come into the middle of the tables and dance on the tatami with her. Two old ladies holding hands dancing, a man and woman singing Karoke looking at a huge TV. Once again nice. At Japanese gatherings, all the tables are set up in a square. People of course sit on the floor and eat drink and talk, then as the time goes on people begin to move around the room to pour beer or juice for people they want to talk to, or to show respect, say thanks whatever.
I have been thinking a lot about a title for this work and for some reason nothing is coming to mind. The word "adapt" keeps popping into my head though and something about an almost completed circle that hints of aging. But so far that is it. I have three weeks left and I am not totally confident that I am going to be able to do good things with this farming story. I am going to try but I am dealing with a totally different scale. The nursing home works because I can move around and not focus on any one person. People get very self conscious. Although they like the attention and they like the photos they don't like being the center of the camera for too long.
The way I see it, I am going to continue to look for photos that hint of this adapting and the fading out of tradition, but I also must look for photos that show what is being adapted. I keep trying to think in terms of themes that run through the work. There is the cleaning theme, the caretaking theme, the bathing theme, the working theme, the farming theme, the gardening theme, socializing theme, the praying theme. Man that seems like to many themes. I need to condense them.
Care taking seems to be a big one among the elderly people both at the home and then the old grandmother who visits her husband in the hospital to do his laundry once a week. Gardening also seems to be a big theme as well for the older people both in the home and at the farm, as well as all the other photos I have of the older people weeding. For the older people there is a sense of consistency surrounding their roles both in the nursing home and at home in the community. For the younger people I have not found this consisitency. I am definitely leaning more and more to looking at older Japanese. It has taken me a while to get here.
Looked at a bunch of my film and I have a few things to kill myself over.
1. Watch the edges of the frame!! Ugh. I get so caught up in what is going on or some cool looking composition that I forget about fingers or tops of heads. I am trying to figure out a way to get in the habit of moving my eyes around the frame before shooting.
Monday, September 19, 1997
Real Gold: deck yet to be determined but the working title of my essay right now.
I keep a pad of paper on the floor next to my futon. It is so that as I lie in bed and think I can jot down ideas about this project. Today I decided to sleep in for me that is until 8:15. I have been thinking about this project non-stop for weeks now, and I am sorry that these field notes have been reduced to ramblings as I slowly untangle my thoughts and ideas in an effort for formulate some kind of coherent outline. But today as I lay in bed listening to the three yappy dogs across the street bark at Obaachan because she likes to aggravate them, the next few weeks of work came together.
First of all the photos of the nursing home are actually life in this nursing home, not all nursing homes, not all old people, just this nursing home in this town. So my idea is to show life similarities and differences outside the nursing home. Using John Mock's idea of an essay to show context, I will contrast scenes from the community that are similar or emphasize differences to scenes in the nursing home. This can be done by looking at the work, the rituals, the activities, and daily life of older people. It all really centers around daily life and how daily life is adapted in the context of an institutional environment.
Time to get busy. I want to ask Obaachan if she will let me photograph her in the Ofuro, and while she is working in the garden. I also want to find an older woman who is caring for her young grandchildren.
And now I would like to take a moment to outline what I am doing right.
1. Access. I have figured out the access issue here in Japan, and figured out when no means yes or OK or I am embarrassed. I really think this is where I am strong. Someone mentioned that I should think about how to develop relationships. I am good at doing this fast. I cannot take good pictures without the access. And I cannot get the access without opening up myself. I often help out the care workers at Kawabe So by walking a resident back to their room, or cooking dinner for the farming family on their sons birthday because they forgot about it, or driving my Japanese grandmother to the hospital because it was raining. I do these things naturally and in the end they really help the photography. Of course, I keep in the forefront of my mind my role in the place.
2. I have figured out the film thing. I still hate color neg., but this Kodak film is actually working out nicely for this project. It has a kind of cool cast to it, and the colors aren't that strong. I shoot the 1600 at 1000 and the multi-speed at 400. Don't recommend it any other way.
3. My shooting is getting better. I can definitely see the difference by comparing the first stuff I shot in Tokyo at the birth center to the stuff now.
4. I can see the light. I wrote a long time ago about how I wanted to try and make the light kiss these people at Kawabe So. I have successfully done that in many photos.
5. I am getting better about not getting pissed off if I miss a shot. It happens and will always happen. In the words of Fred Blocher at the Star, it (the scene) will happen again and if it doesn't, so what. Try again next time.
6. Trusting myself. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this project. I am not making decisions about what to photograph blindly, there is something at work in my head. At times I am not sure why I am photographing certain scenes, but then I realize later why.
7. I am getting more confident shooting. Several times when I had connections to a place or people, I just went in shooting and no one seemed to bat an eye. Of course people will let you know if they do not want to be photographed. And if it is a hospital or place like that I get permission and make my purpose clear. One old woman explained my purpose as I wanted to take back presents from Japan and the presents I was going to return to America with were the photos I was taking of all the people in the hospital waiting room.
That's it for this week. Sorry it is so boring.
xxoo jen
Monday, September 8, 1997
Field Notes from My Master's Project in Japan 1997: Week 8
Week 8
Monday & Tuesday, September 1-2, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Pump up the Jam, Pump it up, Pump it up
Pump up the Jam, I am going to throw up
I have been sitting in the same classroom at the same short table on the same short stool. My knees are black and blue where I habitually try to force them under the table. I forgot that furniture is smaller in Japan. In an effort to make life a little more fun here in this concrete room (no kidding the walls are concrete), I bring music on CD that I can play on this computer. BUT the only music I have access to on CD is from the son of my friend where I am doing the homestay. He is pleased to let me dive into his collection of trashy house and retro dance music from the late 80s and early 90s. The beat is the same on all 8 CDs, just the words change. Oh, and if I want a little diversion from the toe tappin’ hip-gyrating tunes of yesteryear, he has the entire collection of LL Cool J CDs.
The past two days have been spent doing the same thing which is why they only get one entry. The epiphanies and realizations are sort of mixed together in one big stew. Trying to sort out the meat from the fat as I feel myself dancing right out the door has been the main task at hand. Monday I submerged myself in old people and babies, looking at the midwife stuff in preparation for my trip to Tokyo where I will go and visit the birth center, and looking at my nursing home stuff to get a grasp on how much more I have to do there. This was a good start. I got to see how I was shooting at the beginning of coming here and after I have been shooting a month. I am happy to report I have definitely improved.
I noticed a repetition of shapes in both of those bodies of work. For the Baby Health Mirai, the birth center, the repetition is in hands. I think I am going to use that to unify the work. And now I am excited to go back for another visit with this in mind. For the Kawabe So, the nursing home, there seem to be a lot of circles or near perfect circles emerging. I have a few things that I want to reshoot or capture like the bath machine for the residents that cannot walk, Mrs. Noto praying in the morning, Miya in her garden, Yoko, the care worker making her rounds though I have a nice shot of her lying next to a resident who has her hand resting on Yoko's head, also I want a shot of Noriko taking care of her mother who is also a resident. The way I look at it, Kawabe So is not only a repository for elderly whose family has left, but also for those who cannot care for the elderly on their own, who have had to adapt to the modern times. This may not make it into the final essay, but we will see.
Today, Tuesday, I went over everything else. The work on the farmer seems to be dominated with straight and squiggly lines. It seems strange that each body of work has a dominant shape. I have never noticed this before with any other work of mine. The farmer needs more work and more time. I am not totally comfortable there yet. I am not sure how psyched they are about having me around but then again I haven't spent a ton of time there yet. I want to get more on the kids. They have three sons. The deal in Japan is that the eldest son inherits the land and the other sons must leave and fend for themselves. But the eldest son does not really seem into farming. I really want to spend some more time with him and find out a little more about him. He used to be one of my students which means either a) he is terrified of me and is not going to be very open b) I may have better access than I think. Access is great with the farmer, I just have to work on his kids. The 12 year old and I have a good relationship. I need to get with the older ones. The middle son goes to high school. In the rural towns there are no high schools, so they all take the train into the city. I want to get a shot of him at the train station with all the other kids in uniform catching the train. Another sign that the rural areas are underpopulated. There is no high school, all the kids must ride at least 30 minutes into the city.
I also looked over my film from the festivals and the Obon week. There is some good stuff and lots of garbage. I remember that time I was really worn down and was kind of running from event to event. As I went through it, it is clear to me that I knew what I wanted to get out of that time shooting. I was looking for the relationship between young and old. But beyond that I got a bunch of pictures of old people cleaning the shrine, and young kids in kimono fishing for goldfish. Mind you, some of these will work in my essay. I am still kind of hung up on the rituals being the bridge between the young and the old, kind of a way to keep them alive. I guess it is like Christmas. It really is for the kids, and the older the child gets the less meaningful it is, until you have kids and then the excitement starts again. I am still wrestling with how this fits into the nursing home and farming family which are really dialogues on how rural Japan is adapting with depopulation and decrease in rice production. I suppose just showing the older people working without any younger ones is telling that the younger ones have all gone to the city. For the final product, I am thinking of having an mini-essay as an introduction, played to the Taiko drum beat and then launch into nursing home and then the farmer.
I think my next task at hand is to find a few younger adults who have migrated to the city or work in the city and play in the city. Ideally, I would like to find a woman, but strangely enough all the women are absent. I only know young men who live at home and work in the city. This might be telling in itself in that all the women have gone to the bigger cities like Tokyo or Osaka. The daughter of the family I am staying with now lives in Tokyo and works as a nurse. She rarely comes home any more, I am told. I am going to meet her when I go to Tokyo and hopefully will take some photos.
Wednesday, September 3, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
16965!!
Kazuko loaned me her car. Ahh the open road, listening to music, freedom. So where did I go? It was pouring rain and I needed to buy some presents to take to people in Tokyo. I went to the Mall. I walked around kind of in a stupor looking at all the merchandise for sale. Had a drink and went to the bathroom. As I squatted down on the squatty potty, I looked over and it said place your hand in front of the red light to flush. Then I noticed the number 16964. Hmm. I flushed and guess what number flush I was that day.
Thursday, Friday September 4-5, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
Tokyo Shoe Shine
Arrived in Tokyo in the afternoon, as I rode the escalator down I noticed the word Shoe Shine. I peered in and saw two men both wearing blue suits and black shoes with their legs spread as two middle aged women polished their shoes. Irrelevant to my project only except for the fact that I was in the BIG CITY with one pair of shoes that have been worn in rice fields and cow barns. Needed to spiff up for meetings.
In the afternoon I met an MU graduate student who is working for an English language paper here as a copy editor. I told her about my project and she thought it sounded interesting but I got little feedback. She said she was going to introduce me to a guy at the paper who would know more about photography.
Friday, I met Bob Kirshenbaum and we went for lunch at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Tokyo. I have a guest membership there now until I leave. This is great because they have a library with all the English publications, and a clip file which I read on aging and elderly to see what info I could dig up. BING! This year is the first year since they have been counting in 1950 that the number of elderly (over 65) has exceeded the younger members (under 15), 15.5 percent compared to 15.46 percent. Also they are predicting that by 2000, Japan will have the largest percentage of elderly any where in the world, and by 2025, 35 percent of Japan will be over 65.Yum. These statistics are all from the government and were cited in all the major English language papers. A friend asked me what the American stats were, I sheepishly said I did not know, yet.
At lunch, I told Bob about my project. he seemed genuinely interested and was very excited by the nursing home, but really offered no feedback nor presented me with any new information. I guess this is comforting that I at least have been a good researcher. Unfortunately, all I had to show him was negatives, because I could not find a scanner. Being the busy man that he is, he said he would wait until I had prints. This actually sucks because although I have found a scanner to use at the Associated Press, I can't use it until Tuesday and he will be gone on a business trip. I have tried to contact several other photographers here but they are all working and out of the country. I have called three that I know. So here I am halfway through this project with no actual feedback on the work except my own scrupulously composed notes that I made about each photo that I liked. Shoganai. Not much I can do about this. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. This experience has really heightened my own editing skills. I never used to be very confident in editing my work. I feel like that has changed. I have a much stronger sense of what makes a strong picture (but I would love feedback). That could be partially due to the internship this summer. I have also been devouring photo books and magazines, if I can find them. The Arts college that I do my work at has all the art and photo magazines and many books that I read when I take a break.
Tomorrow I go to the midwife center. I do not think any babies are being born but it will be nice to see everyone.
Friday night
Pointer
Dr. Saito and I have communicated by fax for a month and a half. Each time I get a fax from him he asks me to fax him. I felt like this was some CIA undercover operation. I taught Dr. Saito English about 9 years ago at my undergraduate college. When I lived in Akita, I used to proofread his medical articles that he submitted to journals. We always get together and have deep intellectual conversations on Japan, past, present and future. He went to Todai which is like our Harvard or Stanford, but better. If you go to Todai, then your life is set. Todai grads regardless of how well you do or don't do (most don't study), are automatically connected to the pulse of Japan in any field. The influence and power of the Todai alumni is awesome. In Japan now, EVERYTHING is done because of connections (although this is changing). I mean from buying your groceries or renting an apartment, to entering school or getting a job. If no one has heard of you or no one who is considered important will vouch for you, then life is not very easy. With one phone call, these connections can change laws and lives.
Dr. Saito is now president of Kyorin Daigaku, a large medical university. He's a big gun now. When we met for dinner, I brought him a nice bottle of Chivas Regal and he presented me with a small box. But before he did, he said that six years ago when he took me to a very expensive and nice dinner, he made the comment that Japanese people are rich. The way he put it, I said directly flat out "no they are not rich, they may have a lot of money, but they are not rich." He said that for six years he has been thinking about that comment and told many people, young and old, this story. While I do believe that is true, money does not mean wealth, here I am six years later totally embarrassed because I was a little too direct six years ago. Then I opened the box. Inside was a pointer that is used for teaching. He said thank you for teaching me about Japan. I almost fell under the table (in Japan you are sitting down so you cannot fall down) at his thoughtfulness.
I told Dr. Saito about my project. He also thinks I am on a good track and mentioned that not many young Japanese people are thinking about these ideas today.
Saturday, Sunday September 6-7, 1997 -Tokyo, Japan
Went to the birth center. It felt good to be back. There were no births, but I was able to make a few photos I had not seen before of breast feeding and the visiting fathers and children with their new baby. I kept looking for the hands theme. I kept thinking about how to tell this story, what is the story. I sort of felt like my work was finished there although I would have liked the opportunity to shoot another birth. The free time also allowed me to get to know Ms. Fusako Sei, the head midwife, better and to do some follow up research on midwifery in Japan, and the birth center itself. In fact, Sunday night I helped her translate a brochure from English. As I did I was totally flattered because she started to talk to me about a staff problem she was having with one of the midwives. This woman is having an attitude problem and has been using sharp language with the mothers and other midwives who come to study at the center. In fact there used to be a study group that came and spent the night there, but because of Kuniko they now drive back to Tokyo at 9:00 in the evening. We talked at great length about why this young woman may be having problems. Kuniko is 30 years old and has committed herself to working at the center for three years. She is not married and has little opportunity to get out and meet friends because she lives at the center which is in the middle of nowhere. Yet all day long, all week long she helps birth and care for women most of who are her age and their babies. Then she says goodbye as they return home with their baby and husband. That must be hard. I told all this to Fusako. She genuinely listened as I told her I think she needs to talk to Kuniko (the woman) and tell her feelings. Then she called Kuniko in and told her all of this as I was sitting there. I was kind of embarrassed about this, but I was the only one. I felt like I was really part of the family as this was happening.
Sunday afternoon, September 7, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
Catching crows in the watermelon patch
Sunday afternoon I found myself driving down the road listening to "Do the locomotion" with one of the only revolutionaries I have ever met in Japan. Mr. Matsubara is the husband of one of the mothers who had just had a baby. An interesting couple for Japan, he is 40 and she is 26. They just got married last month and she had the baby three days ago.
As we were driving down the road, he shared his philosophies on Japan. People are miles apart here none of the generations are talking which is creating big problems according to him. Three entirely different lifestyles exist under one roof right now. Parents are torn because their children and the grandparents are so different and the gap so wide. He said there is no leader in Japan right now. The really old people are driving the country, the 40-60 year olds are giving the directions and earning all the money, and the 20 and 30 year olds are dealing with the technology but really just thinking about themselves, shopping, and playing. He said that he is going to change Japan, by himself. He used to think that this was impossible, but now he thinks he can do it. In the next sentence he said he no longer talks to the Prime Minister because he is so angry at how he has handled many things. This seemed strange to me in that he has a house in what is the equivalent of the Japanese ghetto. He took me on a wild journey in and out of the hearts and minds of many different types of people. Our first stop was his personal project and farmland. He spends his energy and money now on a special type of farming that mirrors organic farming but is actually incorporating an old Japanese way of fertilizing and spraying chemicals. He pulled out an old book that had been highlighted and earmarked telling how to produce this liquid that basically is distilled charcoal. Surrounded by pieces of metal and farming tools, we sat under this white tent that had Farm Tsukuba (his town) written in big letters on it as he explained to me his farming philosophies. Tsukuba is an experimental town. The Japanese government created it for laboratories.(STORY) He predicts that there will be an increased demand for organic goods as more and more vegetables in Japan are drenched in chemicals, and more and more vegetables lose their flavor. I think he is right.
We visited a big field with hundreds of rotting watermelons lying next to carefully built rows of soil. This was his father-in-law's field. He picked up a nice looking watermelon and cracked it open and handed me a bite. It was sweet and delicious. He then said in a disgusted tone "the farmer can't sell this watermelon, Japanese are zeitaku (living a luxurious life)." Any fruit or vegetable no matter how delicious, won't sell in any store unless the shape is perfect. This is my Japan, he muttered wiping a dirty hand across his forehead. Picking his hat off the ground and placed it over the wild spray of hair that radiated stiffly in all directions, he turned to see who was coming as the sun began to set.
A short old man with a permanent smile baked into his face emerged from the K-truck. A K-truck is a box car version of a pickup truck. He was Matsubara's new father-in-law, though the two are closer in age than Matsubara and his wife. His father-in-law brought out a bunch of rusty steel contraptions that had mean looking jaws. Now illegal in this town, these traps were to catch the crows that had been coming and preying on the new broccoli seedlings planted in the soil that once nurtured the rotting watermelons. A cool breeze blew as I was standing on brown soil in a field full of rotting watermelons at dusk as two men and one college student set and camouflaged six traps in the hopes of outsmarting the crows. Matsubara wrinkled his mouth and said these crows are smart, maybe smarter than me. The evening ended with a nice meal of eel over rice. Then I went back to the birth center.
I spent the rest of the time asking questions about midwifery in Japan.
Monday, September 8, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
Earthquake
Awoke to an earthquake measuring a three. No one seemed to be too alarmed or even to notice it. I arrived in Tokyo to pouring rain. Went to the Foreign Press Club to continue reading about the elderly in Japan and try and find more info on midwives.
Had dinner with the eldest daughter of the family I am staying with in Akita. She moved from Akita and never went back. She is 30, unmarried and working in Tokyo. She is perfect for the project. She said that I could photograph her. Now I am trying to figure out when I can get back to Tokyo.
Observations as I walk around Tokyo:
1. Everyone is young, the differences are startling when you walk around small towns.
2. Older men meeting really young girls. I have read about this kind of mild prostitution where the men pay lots of money for the young girls to go on dates with them.
3. Virginia Slims is doing a huge cigarette campaign here in the bars. Beautiful women walking around handing out cigarettes for free to smokers in an effort to encourage them to switch to this American tobacco. Seems very smart and very evil. Evidently these jobs pay BIG bucks, and they are only part-time.
4. High School girls in really short skirts. The young girl helper syndrome is like another form of prostitution, these girls prostitute themselves for money so they can buy small cell phones and expensive cosmetics. Materialism at its worst.
5. High heels. Girls all over Tokyo wear these ridiculous high heels. I mean how in the world can they walk one block?
6. Gap between ages- Friday night saw a verbal fight between a guy about 55 and girl about 20. She was drunk and talking loudly on her handiphone(cell phone). He yelled at her saying to be quiet, that she was being annoyingly obnoxious. She yelled back and continued mouthing off. He continued mouthing back. I have never seen this before. No picture of this yet, but would really like to try and illustrate it.
Monday & Tuesday, September 1-2, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
Pump up the Jam, Pump it up, Pump it up
Pump up the Jam, I am going to throw up
I have been sitting in the same classroom at the same short table on the same short stool. My knees are black and blue where I habitually try to force them under the table. I forgot that furniture is smaller in Japan. In an effort to make life a little more fun here in this concrete room (no kidding the walls are concrete), I bring music on CD that I can play on this computer. BUT the only music I have access to on CD is from the son of my friend where I am doing the homestay. He is pleased to let me dive into his collection of trashy house and retro dance music from the late 80s and early 90s. The beat is the same on all 8 CDs, just the words change. Oh, and if I want a little diversion from the toe tappin’ hip-gyrating tunes of yesteryear, he has the entire collection of LL Cool J CDs.
The past two days have been spent doing the same thing which is why they only get one entry. The epiphanies and realizations are sort of mixed together in one big stew. Trying to sort out the meat from the fat as I feel myself dancing right out the door has been the main task at hand. Monday I submerged myself in old people and babies, looking at the midwife stuff in preparation for my trip to Tokyo where I will go and visit the birth center, and looking at my nursing home stuff to get a grasp on how much more I have to do there. This was a good start. I got to see how I was shooting at the beginning of coming here and after I have been shooting a month. I am happy to report I have definitely improved.
I noticed a repetition of shapes in both of those bodies of work. For the Baby Health Mirai, the birth center, the repetition is in hands. I think I am going to use that to unify the work. And now I am excited to go back for another visit with this in mind. For the Kawabe So, the nursing home, there seem to be a lot of circles or near perfect circles emerging. I have a few things that I want to reshoot or capture like the bath machine for the residents that cannot walk, Mrs. Noto praying in the morning, Miya in her garden, Yoko, the care worker making her rounds though I have a nice shot of her lying next to a resident who has her hand resting on Yoko's head, also I want a shot of Noriko taking care of her mother who is also a resident. The way I look at it, Kawabe So is not only a repository for elderly whose family has left, but also for those who cannot care for the elderly on their own, who have had to adapt to the modern times. This may not make it into the final essay, but we will see.
Today, Tuesday, I went over everything else. The work on the farmer seems to be dominated with straight and squiggly lines. It seems strange that each body of work has a dominant shape. I have never noticed this before with any other work of mine. The farmer needs more work and more time. I am not totally comfortable there yet. I am not sure how psyched they are about having me around but then again I haven't spent a ton of time there yet. I want to get more on the kids. They have three sons. The deal in Japan is that the eldest son inherits the land and the other sons must leave and fend for themselves. But the eldest son does not really seem into farming. I really want to spend some more time with him and find out a little more about him. He used to be one of my students which means either a) he is terrified of me and is not going to be very open b) I may have better access than I think. Access is great with the farmer, I just have to work on his kids. The 12 year old and I have a good relationship. I need to get with the older ones. The middle son goes to high school. In the rural towns there are no high schools, so they all take the train into the city. I want to get a shot of him at the train station with all the other kids in uniform catching the train. Another sign that the rural areas are underpopulated. There is no high school, all the kids must ride at least 30 minutes into the city.
I also looked over my film from the festivals and the Obon week. There is some good stuff and lots of garbage. I remember that time I was really worn down and was kind of running from event to event. As I went through it, it is clear to me that I knew what I wanted to get out of that time shooting. I was looking for the relationship between young and old. But beyond that I got a bunch of pictures of old people cleaning the shrine, and young kids in kimono fishing for goldfish. Mind you, some of these will work in my essay. I am still kind of hung up on the rituals being the bridge between the young and the old, kind of a way to keep them alive. I guess it is like Christmas. It really is for the kids, and the older the child gets the less meaningful it is, until you have kids and then the excitement starts again. I am still wrestling with how this fits into the nursing home and farming family which are really dialogues on how rural Japan is adapting with depopulation and decrease in rice production. I suppose just showing the older people working without any younger ones is telling that the younger ones have all gone to the city. For the final product, I am thinking of having an mini-essay as an introduction, played to the Taiko drum beat and then launch into nursing home and then the farmer.
I think my next task at hand is to find a few younger adults who have migrated to the city or work in the city and play in the city. Ideally, I would like to find a woman, but strangely enough all the women are absent. I only know young men who live at home and work in the city. This might be telling in itself in that all the women have gone to the bigger cities like Tokyo or Osaka. The daughter of the family I am staying with now lives in Tokyo and works as a nurse. She rarely comes home any more, I am told. I am going to meet her when I go to Tokyo and hopefully will take some photos.
Wednesday, September 3, 1997 - Kawabe, Japan
16965!!
Kazuko loaned me her car. Ahh the open road, listening to music, freedom. So where did I go? It was pouring rain and I needed to buy some presents to take to people in Tokyo. I went to the Mall. I walked around kind of in a stupor looking at all the merchandise for sale. Had a drink and went to the bathroom. As I squatted down on the squatty potty, I looked over and it said place your hand in front of the red light to flush. Then I noticed the number 16964. Hmm. I flushed and guess what number flush I was that day.
Thursday, Friday September 4-5, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
Tokyo Shoe Shine
Arrived in Tokyo in the afternoon, as I rode the escalator down I noticed the word Shoe Shine. I peered in and saw two men both wearing blue suits and black shoes with their legs spread as two middle aged women polished their shoes. Irrelevant to my project only except for the fact that I was in the BIG CITY with one pair of shoes that have been worn in rice fields and cow barns. Needed to spiff up for meetings.
In the afternoon I met an MU graduate student who is working for an English language paper here as a copy editor. I told her about my project and she thought it sounded interesting but I got little feedback. She said she was going to introduce me to a guy at the paper who would know more about photography.
Friday, I met Bob Kirshenbaum and we went for lunch at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Tokyo. I have a guest membership there now until I leave. This is great because they have a library with all the English publications, and a clip file which I read on aging and elderly to see what info I could dig up. BING! This year is the first year since they have been counting in 1950 that the number of elderly (over 65) has exceeded the younger members (under 15), 15.5 percent compared to 15.46 percent. Also they are predicting that by 2000, Japan will have the largest percentage of elderly any where in the world, and by 2025, 35 percent of Japan will be over 65.Yum. These statistics are all from the government and were cited in all the major English language papers. A friend asked me what the American stats were, I sheepishly said I did not know, yet.
At lunch, I told Bob about my project. he seemed genuinely interested and was very excited by the nursing home, but really offered no feedback nor presented me with any new information. I guess this is comforting that I at least have been a good researcher. Unfortunately, all I had to show him was negatives, because I could not find a scanner. Being the busy man that he is, he said he would wait until I had prints. This actually sucks because although I have found a scanner to use at the Associated Press, I can't use it until Tuesday and he will be gone on a business trip. I have tried to contact several other photographers here but they are all working and out of the country. I have called three that I know. So here I am halfway through this project with no actual feedback on the work except my own scrupulously composed notes that I made about each photo that I liked. Shoganai. Not much I can do about this. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. This experience has really heightened my own editing skills. I never used to be very confident in editing my work. I feel like that has changed. I have a much stronger sense of what makes a strong picture (but I would love feedback). That could be partially due to the internship this summer. I have also been devouring photo books and magazines, if I can find them. The Arts college that I do my work at has all the art and photo magazines and many books that I read when I take a break.
Tomorrow I go to the midwife center. I do not think any babies are being born but it will be nice to see everyone.
Friday night
Pointer
Dr. Saito and I have communicated by fax for a month and a half. Each time I get a fax from him he asks me to fax him. I felt like this was some CIA undercover operation. I taught Dr. Saito English about 9 years ago at my undergraduate college. When I lived in Akita, I used to proofread his medical articles that he submitted to journals. We always get together and have deep intellectual conversations on Japan, past, present and future. He went to Todai which is like our Harvard or Stanford, but better. If you go to Todai, then your life is set. Todai grads regardless of how well you do or don't do (most don't study), are automatically connected to the pulse of Japan in any field. The influence and power of the Todai alumni is awesome. In Japan now, EVERYTHING is done because of connections (although this is changing). I mean from buying your groceries or renting an apartment, to entering school or getting a job. If no one has heard of you or no one who is considered important will vouch for you, then life is not very easy. With one phone call, these connections can change laws and lives.
Dr. Saito is now president of Kyorin Daigaku, a large medical university. He's a big gun now. When we met for dinner, I brought him a nice bottle of Chivas Regal and he presented me with a small box. But before he did, he said that six years ago when he took me to a very expensive and nice dinner, he made the comment that Japanese people are rich. The way he put it, I said directly flat out "no they are not rich, they may have a lot of money, but they are not rich." He said that for six years he has been thinking about that comment and told many people, young and old, this story. While I do believe that is true, money does not mean wealth, here I am six years later totally embarrassed because I was a little too direct six years ago. Then I opened the box. Inside was a pointer that is used for teaching. He said thank you for teaching me about Japan. I almost fell under the table (in Japan you are sitting down so you cannot fall down) at his thoughtfulness.
I told Dr. Saito about my project. He also thinks I am on a good track and mentioned that not many young Japanese people are thinking about these ideas today.
Saturday, Sunday September 6-7, 1997 -Tokyo, Japan
Went to the birth center. It felt good to be back. There were no births, but I was able to make a few photos I had not seen before of breast feeding and the visiting fathers and children with their new baby. I kept looking for the hands theme. I kept thinking about how to tell this story, what is the story. I sort of felt like my work was finished there although I would have liked the opportunity to shoot another birth. The free time also allowed me to get to know Ms. Fusako Sei, the head midwife, better and to do some follow up research on midwifery in Japan, and the birth center itself. In fact, Sunday night I helped her translate a brochure from English. As I did I was totally flattered because she started to talk to me about a staff problem she was having with one of the midwives. This woman is having an attitude problem and has been using sharp language with the mothers and other midwives who come to study at the center. In fact there used to be a study group that came and spent the night there, but because of Kuniko they now drive back to Tokyo at 9:00 in the evening. We talked at great length about why this young woman may be having problems. Kuniko is 30 years old and has committed herself to working at the center for three years. She is not married and has little opportunity to get out and meet friends because she lives at the center which is in the middle of nowhere. Yet all day long, all week long she helps birth and care for women most of who are her age and their babies. Then she says goodbye as they return home with their baby and husband. That must be hard. I told all this to Fusako. She genuinely listened as I told her I think she needs to talk to Kuniko (the woman) and tell her feelings. Then she called Kuniko in and told her all of this as I was sitting there. I was kind of embarrassed about this, but I was the only one. I felt like I was really part of the family as this was happening.
Sunday afternoon, September 7, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
Catching crows in the watermelon patch
Sunday afternoon I found myself driving down the road listening to "Do the locomotion" with one of the only revolutionaries I have ever met in Japan. Mr. Matsubara is the husband of one of the mothers who had just had a baby. An interesting couple for Japan, he is 40 and she is 26. They just got married last month and she had the baby three days ago.
As we were driving down the road, he shared his philosophies on Japan. People are miles apart here none of the generations are talking which is creating big problems according to him. Three entirely different lifestyles exist under one roof right now. Parents are torn because their children and the grandparents are so different and the gap so wide. He said there is no leader in Japan right now. The really old people are driving the country, the 40-60 year olds are giving the directions and earning all the money, and the 20 and 30 year olds are dealing with the technology but really just thinking about themselves, shopping, and playing. He said that he is going to change Japan, by himself. He used to think that this was impossible, but now he thinks he can do it. In the next sentence he said he no longer talks to the Prime Minister because he is so angry at how he has handled many things. This seemed strange to me in that he has a house in what is the equivalent of the Japanese ghetto. He took me on a wild journey in and out of the hearts and minds of many different types of people. Our first stop was his personal project and farmland. He spends his energy and money now on a special type of farming that mirrors organic farming but is actually incorporating an old Japanese way of fertilizing and spraying chemicals. He pulled out an old book that had been highlighted and earmarked telling how to produce this liquid that basically is distilled charcoal. Surrounded by pieces of metal and farming tools, we sat under this white tent that had Farm Tsukuba (his town) written in big letters on it as he explained to me his farming philosophies. Tsukuba is an experimental town. The Japanese government created it for laboratories.(STORY) He predicts that there will be an increased demand for organic goods as more and more vegetables in Japan are drenched in chemicals, and more and more vegetables lose their flavor. I think he is right.
We visited a big field with hundreds of rotting watermelons lying next to carefully built rows of soil. This was his father-in-law's field. He picked up a nice looking watermelon and cracked it open and handed me a bite. It was sweet and delicious. He then said in a disgusted tone "the farmer can't sell this watermelon, Japanese are zeitaku (living a luxurious life)." Any fruit or vegetable no matter how delicious, won't sell in any store unless the shape is perfect. This is my Japan, he muttered wiping a dirty hand across his forehead. Picking his hat off the ground and placed it over the wild spray of hair that radiated stiffly in all directions, he turned to see who was coming as the sun began to set.
A short old man with a permanent smile baked into his face emerged from the K-truck. A K-truck is a box car version of a pickup truck. He was Matsubara's new father-in-law, though the two are closer in age than Matsubara and his wife. His father-in-law brought out a bunch of rusty steel contraptions that had mean looking jaws. Now illegal in this town, these traps were to catch the crows that had been coming and preying on the new broccoli seedlings planted in the soil that once nurtured the rotting watermelons. A cool breeze blew as I was standing on brown soil in a field full of rotting watermelons at dusk as two men and one college student set and camouflaged six traps in the hopes of outsmarting the crows. Matsubara wrinkled his mouth and said these crows are smart, maybe smarter than me. The evening ended with a nice meal of eel over rice. Then I went back to the birth center.
I spent the rest of the time asking questions about midwifery in Japan.
Monday, September 8, 1997 - Tokyo, Japan
Earthquake
Awoke to an earthquake measuring a three. No one seemed to be too alarmed or even to notice it. I arrived in Tokyo to pouring rain. Went to the Foreign Press Club to continue reading about the elderly in Japan and try and find more info on midwives.
Had dinner with the eldest daughter of the family I am staying with in Akita. She moved from Akita and never went back. She is 30, unmarried and working in Tokyo. She is perfect for the project. She said that I could photograph her. Now I am trying to figure out when I can get back to Tokyo.
Observations as I walk around Tokyo:
1. Everyone is young, the differences are startling when you walk around small towns.
2. Older men meeting really young girls. I have read about this kind of mild prostitution where the men pay lots of money for the young girls to go on dates with them.
3. Virginia Slims is doing a huge cigarette campaign here in the bars. Beautiful women walking around handing out cigarettes for free to smokers in an effort to encourage them to switch to this American tobacco. Seems very smart and very evil. Evidently these jobs pay BIG bucks, and they are only part-time.
4. High School girls in really short skirts. The young girl helper syndrome is like another form of prostitution, these girls prostitute themselves for money so they can buy small cell phones and expensive cosmetics. Materialism at its worst.
5. High heels. Girls all over Tokyo wear these ridiculous high heels. I mean how in the world can they walk one block?
6. Gap between ages- Friday night saw a verbal fight between a guy about 55 and girl about 20. She was drunk and talking loudly on her handiphone(cell phone). He yelled at her saying to be quiet, that she was being annoyingly obnoxious. She yelled back and continued mouthing off. He continued mouthing back. I have never seen this before. No picture of this yet, but would really like to try and illustrate it.
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